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by Flintknapper
Fri Oct 18, 2013 10:37 pm
Forum: Drabbles
Topic: The Hometown Hero
Replies: 9
Views: 1427

Re: The Hometown Hero

Depressing, but it kind of reminds of a lot of the people I grew up with in highschool. For a couple of years they were the talk of the town, but as they have gotten older life has passed them by. They don't have bad lives, but they are living in the past thinking about what their lives were like ra...
by Flintknapper
Fri Oct 18, 2013 10:29 pm
Forum: Drabbles
Topic: DrabbleRhyme
Replies: 4
Views: 413

Re: DrabbleRhyme

cool.

It does have a bit of fill, but I can look past that. Having a rhyme come out to exactly 100 words is tough.
by Flintknapper
Fri Oct 18, 2013 10:26 pm
Forum: Drabbles
Topic: Emergency
Replies: 5
Views: 576

Re: Emergency

I got a feeling this one is playing off the debt ceiling and government crisis of the past few weeks.... or the war on terror... actually this could be a metaphor quite a few things now that I think about it. I fixated on the donut line. I have been like craving donuts for about a week now. I am goi...
by Flintknapper
Wed Oct 16, 2013 11:11 pm
Forum: Drabbles
Topic: Never Mix
Replies: 7
Views: 640

Re: Never Mix

The enforcers (not love) will conquer all.
by Flintknapper
Wed Oct 16, 2013 11:09 pm
Forum: Drabbles
Topic: The Reaper Moweth
Replies: 7
Views: 570

Re: The Reaper Moweth

death is the building block of life and life is the building block of death. I am not sure this is my favorite, but I like the name of the drabble.
by Flintknapper
Wed Oct 16, 2013 11:05 pm
Forum: Drabbles
Topic: Interstellar Farmer (Hometown Heroes)
Replies: 5
Views: 591

Re: Interstellar Farmer (Hometown Heroes)

it reads angry. I am not saying it is a bad thing, but it seems like the narrator does not like his hometown much. Perhaps, he was unpopular before he became a sensation and now he feels resentment that they only accept him because he is famous??

Interesting.
by Flintknapper
Wed Oct 16, 2013 10:54 pm
Forum: Drabbles
Topic: A Bus as Long as the World
Replies: 4
Views: 442

Re: A Bus as Long as the World

symbolic. Loved it. Especially the hirearchy of the bus and taht the journey from the middle to the wealthy may result in you falling prey to what lies below.
by Flintknapper
Wed Oct 16, 2013 10:49 pm
Forum: Drabbles
Topic: All These Worlds Are Yours
Replies: 9
Views: 1179

Re: All These Worlds Are Yours

I didnt get the reference until reading the comments. Loved the word choice on this one. it read like the army. In fact, i could almost imagine snake doc from the unit reading this one. I do not know what the actor's name is but he does the allstate commercials now days.
by Flintknapper
Wed Oct 16, 2013 9:54 pm
Forum: Drabbles
Topic: Girls With Guns
Replies: 6
Views: 623

Re: Girls With Guns

Fun. Why not barbies??? The story makes a strong statement in 100 words (which we all know me I am big into that) and can be interpreted two ways: it can be a boy playing with dolls or a girl playing with guns. it smashes stereotypes. it also does not have to do with just gender bias but also bias a...
by Flintknapper
Wed Oct 16, 2013 9:47 pm
Forum: Drabbles
Topic: Side Show
Replies: 6
Views: 602

Re: Side Show

I like it. I think the drabble works on a number of levels and challenges the reader. Was out on monday experiencing the day myself. The greatest wonders in the world are just out there waiting for you to see.
by Flintknapper
Thu Oct 10, 2013 6:12 pm
Forum: Drabbles
Topic: It's a Trap!
Replies: 4
Views: 418

Re: It's a Trap!

lol. I would say they had better be there in 30 minutes or they are free, but I got feeling he isn't planning on paying anyways.

The only issue I had with the drabble is the title which reminded me the calamari guy in return of the jedi.
by Flintknapper
Thu Oct 10, 2013 5:33 pm
Forum: Drabbles
Topic: South of Heaven
Replies: 11
Views: 1278

Re: South of Heaven

Thanks CW I fixed it.
by Flintknapper
Thu Oct 10, 2013 3:53 pm
Forum: Drabbles
Topic: Serial Killer Terrorizes City
Replies: 10
Views: 1256

Re: Serial Killer Terrorizes City

Yeah... I think it reads much better as dialogue only in this case. There was a contest last month at bartleby snopes for dialogue only pieces. It is a fun idea. It isn't one that I think is that successful but in a small flash fiction piece it can be good. It also works well in audio if you have tw...
by Flintknapper
Thu Oct 10, 2013 3:48 pm
Forum: Drabbles
Topic: South of Heaven
Replies: 11
Views: 1278

Re: South of Heaven

For the punctuation do you mean additional commas? it doesn't come out as wrong in word. Let me know where you would change punctuation. As for the narrator... for me he is a conquistador and the apparitions are the Native Americans he has killed.... but he could be anyone whose convictions lead him...
by Flintknapper
Thu Oct 10, 2013 2:40 am
Forum: Drabbles
Topic: In the Maw of the Beast
Replies: 7
Views: 1068

Re: In the Maw of the Beast

normally I live with what my mind comes up with, but on this one. I didn't like the original wording. So I tweaked it a lot. Still should be 100 words.
by Flintknapper
Wed Oct 09, 2013 10:01 pm
Forum: Drabbles
Topic: In the Maw of the Beast
Replies: 7
Views: 1068

Re: In the Maw of the Beast

See I don't know. I think Columbus as an innocent is hard to go with. He brought slaves back with him on his second voyage. Not like one or two... he brought back hundreds. By the time he was going back for the 3rd and 4th times, he knew damn well what he was doing. Natives were dropping like flies ...
by Flintknapper
Wed Oct 09, 2013 9:01 pm
Forum: Drabbles
Topic: In the Maw of the Beast
Replies: 7
Views: 1068

Re: In the Maw of the Beast

I read yesterday that the Chinese discovered America long before Columbus, and that American Natives have Chinese genes. It suggested to me that someone has discovered some rich old coot and is looking for a way to document a plausible familial relationship, so when the old guy's bank forecloses on...
by Flintknapper
Wed Oct 09, 2013 7:19 pm
Forum: Drabbles
Topic: In the Maw of the Beast
Replies: 7
Views: 1068

Re: In the Maw of the Beast

Happy almost Columbus Day everyone... I think.
by Flintknapper
Wed Oct 09, 2013 7:18 pm
Forum: Drabbles
Topic: In the Maw of the Beast
Replies: 7
Views: 1068

In the Maw of the Beast

The handler releases the beast. It races forward. I see the rage in its eyes. The beast collides into me. I lose my footing and fall to the ground. Its teeth bite deep into my forearm. I flail wildly seeking escape, but my struggle appears only to feed the beast’s appetite. Then, flesh separates fro...
by Flintknapper
Wed Oct 09, 2013 4:50 pm
Forum: Drabbles
Topic: South of Heaven
Replies: 11
Views: 1278

Re: South of Heaven

Sorry, just had to get that cobblestone hate out. The local townies decided that they were quaint, so replaced the pavement in the entrance to town with cobblestones to gentrify the area. For my motorbike, this was like installing 2,000 speed bumps. It's literally the road to hell. I don't know abo...

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