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I saw him dancing and swaying through the cornfields in the pale moonlight. A husk in tattered rags, his dead limbs creaked like an old barn door. I could feel it as he looked at me from the places where eyes used to be. I've tried to get away from him, but still he follows me. He wants my feet to j...
Yup, it does! I think it can be phrased better. Thanks!kwooderson wrote:Yep, a hundred words exactly. Makes sense as far as I can see, though I'm not partial to 'toned inviting physique' -there's something off about it. Hope that helps?
How could you, Brian? Why do you possess so little self-control? Why did you have to meet that woman? What was it? The golden hair? Her toned, inviting physique? You’ve kept yourself in check so long. But now I see the true you. I think we'll have to move on to other people. Again! And I'd just gott...
Ha! Fun. I like it. I think it might be more effective if you added paragraph breaks. I know it's short, but it would help add 'beats' so that you read through at a certain pace. Like telling a joke - you can't shout it out in one breath. How about this? (I shortened a run-on sentence so you'd have ...
- Sat Feb 04, 2017 7:58 am
- Forum: Twit-Fic!
- Topic: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)
- Replies: 7528
- Views: 867479
The devil visits my mother Fridays. She's a good woman - leader, churchgoer, altruist. Yet she looks forward to Friday.