Search found 12 matches

by arachnophile
Thu Apr 16, 2015 4:16 am
Forum: Drabbles
Topic: The Light
Replies: 6
Views: 1151

Re: The Light

Okay, I think maybe I've got it now. Also, I made her slightly more spidery.

N.B. - this hundred word thing is brutal.
by arachnophile
Thu Apr 16, 2015 2:50 am
Forum: Drabbles
Topic: The Light
Replies: 6
Views: 1151

Re: The Light

Should have the word count right now, anyway. What I was shooting for with the last line was the (true fact) that a bright white light is the last thing you see when your brain is shutting down. Couldn't come up with a great way to clarify that in three words without being pedantic. Maybe this works?
by arachnophile
Thu Apr 16, 2015 2:32 am
Forum: Drabbles
Topic: The Light
Replies: 6
Views: 1151

Re: The Light

Dang. MS Word apparently counts hyphenated words as two, while your sizer counts them as one. I guess that gives me three more words to play with. I'll give that a bit of thought, and edit appropriately.
by arachnophile
Fri Apr 10, 2015 12:46 pm
Forum: Drabbles
Topic: Niko
Replies: 2
Views: 1040

Re: Niko

Thanks for the kind words. If you're really interested, you could take a peek here: http://smart-as-a-bee.tumblr.com/
by arachnophile
Wed Apr 08, 2015 11:22 pm
Forum: Drabbles
Topic: Niko
Replies: 2
Views: 1040

Niko

It feels like a punch, a belly-blow that doubles Niko half-over, but the blade twists and withdraws then, and the blood comes pouring out. Unfair, he thinks. His first bar, and his first fight. His life flashes before him. Not his past life, though. His future. # “I don’t get it,” Carrie says. “He w...
by arachnophile
Wed Apr 01, 2015 12:37 pm
Forum: Drabbles
Topic: The Light
Replies: 6
Views: 1151

The Light

I close my eyes in the coal-black dark, and shiver as four nightmare-long arms embrace me. Her skin is smooth and dry and fever-hot, her breath a soft hiss in my ear. “You’re sure?” I nod. Soft lips brush my shoulder. I shiver again as her fangs break the skin. The venom burns. She holds me as I shu...
by arachnophile
Sat Jan 24, 2015 3:51 pm
Forum: Drabbles
Topic: Confession
Replies: 0
Views: 1477

Confession

“I have to tell you something. You remember Mike?” “I don’t think I want to hear this.” “I know. I don’t… Look… He came to visit me. Last weekend.” “Isn’t he from Texas?” “Yeah. I invited him.” “What’s wrong with you?” “That’s what I was trying to find out.” “Huh?” “That’s what I was trying to find ...
by arachnophile
Mon Jan 12, 2015 4:10 am
Forum: Drabbles
Topic: Nine Seconds
Replies: 1
Views: 840

Nine Seconds

Twelve hundred feet. Nine seconds of free-fall, more or less. Burke looks up at the root curling out of the cliff face, at the three fingers of his right hand hooked around it. He looks down past his feet at the trees lining the river below. The sun beats down on the back of his neck. His fingers sl...
by arachnophile
Sat Jan 03, 2015 5:48 pm
Forum: Drabbles
Topic: Download
Replies: 3
Views: 1204

Re: Download

Yeah, I tend to meander through ten minutes of setup, only to realize I've already stepped on the punch line. Luckily I'm very funny looking, so that makes up for it to a certain extent.
by arachnophile
Sat Jan 03, 2015 5:25 am
Forum: Drabbles
Topic: Viewpoint
Replies: 3
Views: 1093

Re: Viewpoint

Nice. Minor technical point, though: might want to maintain consistent verb tense. You start in past, bounce to present, then back to past. Otherwise, solid.
by arachnophile
Fri Jan 02, 2015 12:11 am
Forum: Drabbles
Topic: Download
Replies: 3
Views: 1204

Download

I’m through the setup, working my way up to the punch line, when I realize Molly’s not listening. Her eyes are pointed in my general direction, but the focus is off and her pupils are vibrating. She’s downloading. “So yeah,” I say. “Then the priest tells the bartender he’s got cancer. Also, his mom ...
by arachnophile
Wed Dec 31, 2014 4:15 pm
Forum: Drabbles
Topic: The Signal
Replies: 5
Views: 2272

The Signal

“See there!” Marcus cried, and pointed toward the steeple of the North Church, just visible over the trees that stood between them and Charlestown. “A lantern! The Regulars are coming up from Boston.” “Aye,” Barton replied. “Muster the Militia. They come by the road.” “No,” said Marcus as a second l...