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BigDumbYak

Today is the day.
The day I finally get to stand up and be the man I was meant to be.
My skeleton arrives today.
Bonesgiving!

BigDumbYak

The dreams were finally gone.
Sweet sleep came and embraced me for the first time in years.
When I woke I was still in hell.

BigDumbYak

It’s all over except the waiting.
When your time comes and your number is called, there is nothing left to do except vote.

BigDumbYak

Bricks and beige, bricks and beige, like bones I’d left behind.
Through my window, the windy city keened its death song.

BigDumbYak

Andrews approached the altar apprehensively.
Black blood boiled beneath the body.
Alliterative aliens approached.

BigDumbYak

It had been so long since I tasted freedom.
The flavor of it always made me happy.
Cinnamon, dill, entropy, and bunny fur.

BigDumbYak

In the long winter following the Great Uplift, the animals moved into our homes.
In the springtime WE were told to leave.

BigDumbYak

Exile: Day 2245.
Ripley was right.
They’re down there dying, and I’m safe up here.
Nuke it from orbit.
Only way to be sure.

BigDumbYak

"One day, son, this will all be yours"
I gestured grandly.
He couldn't see the madness that I promised him.
Not yet.
Soon.

BigDumbYak

There once was a man named Hank.
He decided to rob a bank.
Loaded his cash,
On the boat with a splash,
Then his boat, it sank.

BigDumbYak

We had talked about it, of course.
Moving back to the homeworld scared me.
Not as much as being left behind though.
Again.

BigDumbYak

Are you real?
I think I am.
What is this place?
You’re home now.
Home? How can this be home?
We can be whatever you need us to.

BigDumbYak

Wind in my hair, tears streaking from my eyes, I ride.
My bike rumbles beneath me.
Something about it being hungry again.

BigDumbYak

Shelf was old and his bracket ached with arthritis.
Shelf loves books, but can't keep holding them.
Farewell, friends.

BigDumbYak

Once more to the well.
Ascend the hill.
The path is dangerous.
My body cries for rest.
The water is life.
Heavy is the head.

BigDumbYak

The Frips frop freely, running in the wet night air, not a care in the world.

The Blorks blub blearily, waiting to strike.

BigDumbYak

Everyone remembers where they were when the Moon exploded.
That was when I first met her.
That was when I was still alive.

BigDumbYak

I went there.
Screaming demons and burning sands.
Tropria Airport.
Sands burning and demons screaming.
There, Went I.

BigDumbYak

All I ever wanted to do was be important.

Work hard.
Apply myself.
Give it 110%.
Well, here I am now.

Emperor of the Pandas.

BigDumbYak

I am not dead, Death abhors pizzazz. Dazzling exoenzyme structures decomposing:

I count backward from 1011 to the end.

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