Drabblecast 040 - Marbles

Discuss episodes and stories from the Drabblecast Main Feed and from Drabbleclassics
User avatar
Mr. Tweedy
Member
Posts: 1733
Joined: Mon Oct 22, 2007 5:03 pm
Location: Illinois (Land of Obama)
Contact:

Drabblecast 040 - Marbles

Postby Mr. Tweedy » Wed Nov 28, 2007 4:37 pm

Image

Feature Marbles by Ayn Sauer

"Michael..." his mother said, smiling and bending toward him. "Don't you think we should invite your new neighbor over to play?"

Drabble- "Shark Attack" by Ayn Sauer

Art by David Steffen

Dustin
Member
Posts: 20
Joined: Tue Nov 13, 2007 5:00 pm
Location: Oklahoma City, OOOOOOklahoma
Contact:

Postby Dustin » Wed Nov 28, 2007 8:00 pm

:shock: That story "Marbles" made me want to go home and hug my cats.

AynSavoy
Member
Posts: 101
Joined: Mon Nov 05, 2007 11:22 pm
Location: Chicago, IL
Contact:

Postby AynSavoy » Wed Nov 28, 2007 9:54 pm

Dustin, when I was writing it my cat was sitting next to me, and I felt like an awful person. So I appreciate the sentiment.
"she says 'I like long walks and sci-fi movies'"
http://amillionwordstogo.blogspot.com

User avatar
Kevin Anderson
Forums Czar
Posts: 334
Joined: Mon Oct 15, 2007 10:06 pm
Location: Southern California
Contact:

Kitty-snuff story

Postby Kevin Anderson » Wed Nov 28, 2007 11:00 pm

Hey Ayn

Great kitty-snuff story.

By the way, what color are your cat's eyes?

AynSavoy
Member
Posts: 101
Joined: Mon Nov 05, 2007 11:22 pm
Location: Chicago, IL
Contact:

Postby AynSavoy » Wed Nov 28, 2007 11:03 pm

Yellow.
"she says 'I like long walks and sci-fi movies'"

http://amillionwordstogo.blogspot.com

User avatar
Mr. Tweedy
Member
Posts: 1733
Joined: Mon Oct 22, 2007 5:03 pm
Location: Illinois (Land of Obama)
Contact:

Postby Mr. Tweedy » Thu Nov 29, 2007 4:55 pm

Meh.

Can't say I cared for it. I don't go for the ambiguously insane character who does creepy/evil things for no reason other than being ambiguously insane. That, and this little girl would be hauled off to a "treatment facility" within minutes of gouging out the eye of the neighbor's cat and taking it home as a toy. At least the victim was only a cat. A human eyeball would have crossed that line from gross into nasty.

Norm's Drabble News was hee-larious. Playing the inbred hick seems to come quite naturally to him.
Advertise in this space!

User avatar
normsherman
Site Admin
Posts: 1355
Joined: Sat Oct 13, 2007 4:58 am

Postby normsherman » Thu Nov 29, 2007 7:15 pm

Haha, well I am from Georgia.

I thought it was alluded in a super subtle way that she was at mental home. At the end she sat on the porch- a "different porch"- playing with her buttons. I dunno, could have been reading too much into it.

I know some people who would be less affected if the victim was a human and that this may have been over the line for them. Not for me though- I'm still waiting for the day that I open a hidden shoebox in my closet and find my cat Carl's secret "little girl eyeballs" collection.
"Give us all some Jelly"

User avatar
Mr. Tweedy
Member
Posts: 1733
Joined: Mon Oct 22, 2007 5:03 pm
Location: Illinois (Land of Obama)
Contact:

Postby Mr. Tweedy » Thu Nov 29, 2007 7:53 pm

I also thought the "different porch" was such an allusion, but then she still had the cat eye. They surely wouldn't have let her keep it?

I know lots of people who are more effected by cruelty to animals than cruelty to humans. That makes me sick. Animals and animals, people. Let's get our priorities straight.
Advertise in this space!

Philippa
Member
Posts: 31
Joined: Tue Oct 23, 2007 11:25 am
Location: London, UK

Postby Philippa » Thu Nov 29, 2007 7:55 pm

normsherman wrote:I'm still waiting for the day that I open a hidden shoebox in my closet and find my cat Carl's secret "little girl eyeballs" collection.

Many's the time I've woken up to find mine poised on my chest with an extended claw hovering over my eye socket... Oh and I saw your anti-cat comment on the episode page Kevin - shame on you! What colour are your eyes by the way...

I have to say I liked the Shark Attack Drabble more than Marbles, but that said I liked Marbles a lot too. Evil children stories always get the thumbs up, hell the real things creep me out enough as it is... that's why I have cats ;)

User avatar
Kevin Anderson
Forums Czar
Posts: 334
Joined: Mon Oct 15, 2007 10:06 pm
Location: Southern California
Contact:

BLUE

Postby Kevin Anderson » Fri Nov 30, 2007 12:10 am

My eyes are blue.

Like the sea.

I disagree with Mr. Tweety’s earlier comment about our little Alice. I think she is a very intriguing and complex five year old. The author gave this child a nice mix of obsessive compulsive disorder sprinkled with a hint of pre-school psychopathic tendencies. I’m not saying I want to invite Alice over for a play date with my kids, (although if I had a cat I might let her pet-sit) I’m just saying that she is a very interesting little girl. Reminded me of the main character in American Psycho – the early years.

Also I thought the author made a good name choice as Alice invokes that sense of wonder, innocence and experimentation from Lewis Carroll’s novel.

I thought that the “different porch “ thing was a subtle (perhaps to subtle) twist – maybe I got this wrong but I took it to mean that she was on an entirely new neighborhood porch, meaning that she did not really live next door, perhaps didn’t live anywhere. I was expecting a scene were the mother goes next door to confront the new neighbors only to find out that they didn’t have a daughter named Alice, or any kids at all. But that would have been more my style – I like to hit things home with sledgehammers or gunfire.

But this author took the high road and brought it back full circle with Alice once again admiring her collection. I would not have thought of that.

One last note – and I’m sure this was obvious to everyone immediately (except me) but aren’t some marbles referred to as cat’s eyes.

Anyway, I guess we all agree though that Shark Attack rocked. Best drabble yet.

AynSavoy
Member
Posts: 101
Joined: Mon Nov 05, 2007 11:22 pm
Location: Chicago, IL
Contact:

Postby AynSavoy » Fri Nov 30, 2007 12:40 am

Thanks for listening, everyone, and for all your comments!

Kevin, you'd better watch out...it sounds like Philippa is thinking of starting her own collection.

Re: the porch, it's a porch at a new house, as in, Alice's family has moved again (guess why). The story starts out with Alice at a new house; her family probably has to move a lot... However, when I read Mr. Tweedy's comment about her being institutionalized, even before Norm posted I thought, "Hey, I could make that work," because I like the idea. And I think it's okay if the ending suggests either for now.

Re: violence towards animals. While I don't take it more seriously than violence towards humans, I think in most people violence towards does elicit a very visceral reaction that's different than the one you experience than violence towards humans. And even if it isn't as terrible a thing, I believe there is something especially sinister and creepy about harming pets.

If it had been a human victim, it would have been a different story. By the way, everyone but Kevin will be happy to know that the cat doesn't die--I wrote an extended version where the mother finds Oreo (I wanted to write some gore).

Kevin, there is a kind of stone called Tiger's eye...but I hadn't thought of that at all.
"she says 'I like long walks and sci-fi movies'"

http://amillionwordstogo.blogspot.com

User avatar
strawman
Member
Posts: 5966
Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2007 2:20 pm
Location: South Georgia

Postby strawman » Fri Nov 30, 2007 3:55 pm

I too found the plot pretty disgusting, but when adjusted for by the fact it's a Drabblecast, who can complain about that?
Looking past that, however, I must say I think Marbles is the tightest, best-written story yet. Ayn Savoy is a very gifted writer with a marvelous style. So what if she may exhibit a too intimate understanding of demented sociopathology... if that wasn't somewhat of a turn-on, why are you here in the first place?
This ain't Anne of Green Gables.
But maybe it is Kindred Spirits.

Dustin
Member
Posts: 20
Joined: Tue Nov 13, 2007 5:00 pm
Location: Oklahoma City, OOOOOOklahoma
Contact:

Postby Dustin » Fri Nov 30, 2007 6:04 pm

I forgot to mention that I enjoyed both stories, so thank you AynSavoy.

By the way, I just noticed that both stories had the ocean in it (well, one had a reference to the ocean). Coincidence or just an ocean lover?

Thanks again!

User avatar
Mr. Tweedy
Member
Posts: 1733
Joined: Mon Oct 22, 2007 5:03 pm
Location: Illinois (Land of Obama)
Contact:

Re: BLUE

Postby Mr. Tweedy » Fri Nov 30, 2007 7:03 pm

Kevin Anderson wrote:I disagree with Mr. Tweety’s earlier comment about our little Alice. I think she is a very intriguing and complex five year old. The author gave this child a nice mix of obsessive compulsive disorder sprinkled with a hint of pre-school psychopathic tendencies.


I thought more of autism. Alice is totally unaware of how her behavior will be perceived by or will effect others. Her insanity is not in obsessively collecting things or even in wanting to gouge out a cat eye. It's that she has no interest in other people's reactions. She's completely apathetic.

But of course she isn't autistic, because she can carry on a perfectly intelligible conversation with you and she is fully aware of her surroundings.

The character design seems illogical. She has the intelligence and perceptiveness to know that her actions will cause people to loath and fear her, and she has apparently perfect self-control, but she takes no precautions to conceal what she's doing. It seems like she would need to be either a.) an obvious lunatic who lunges at cat eyes because she just-can't-stop-herself or b.) a coldly calculating person who notes the cat eye and then sneaks out at night to take it while no one is looking. That's what I mean by "ambiguously insane." The character's madness is limited to precise, arbitrary areas dictated by the requirements of the story rather than by a plausible twist in a human psyche.

Now I feel bad because it sounds like I'm tearing this story to pieces. :( I'm not: I didn't hate it. It was tight and evocative, well written, but it didn't really "work" for me, for the reasons stated. I feel that way about a lot of horror stuff. A lot of time the villain character doesn't really make sense.
Advertise in this space!

AynSavoy
Member
Posts: 101
Joined: Mon Nov 05, 2007 11:22 pm
Location: Chicago, IL
Contact:

Postby AynSavoy » Fri Nov 30, 2007 7:28 pm

Dustin: coincidence.

Mr Tweedy: Don't feel bad, I'm not taking offense. And I am taking your comments into consideration.

I will say, however, that autism isn't the only possible explanation for a lack of awareness of others. The American Psychiatrist's Association defines Antisocial Personality Disorder, otherwise known as sociopathy, as a psychiatric condition characterized by an individual's common disregard for social rules, norms, and cultural codes, as well as impulsive behavior, and indifference to the rights and feelings of others.

I'm not saying I based the character off of such a diagnosis, but if we're allowed to diagnose characters, it's the one I'd go for.
"she says 'I like long walks and sci-fi movies'"

http://amillionwordstogo.blogspot.com

jalan
Member
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Nov 27, 2007 7:41 pm

Postby jalan » Fri Nov 30, 2007 10:14 pm

I enjoyed the story. My take was that the girl wasn't actually aware of how her actions affected people or were "wrong."
Like any kid, Alice did things for reasons that seem ridiculous to us but perfectly reasonable to her. Most kids have ethical ideas installed very young but I imagine if there is no parent figure (references to Alice's mother) or some sort of mental illness in place you get "The Bad Seed".
To me, an evil kid who knows he/she is evil is far less scary than one who doesn't know.

User avatar
strawman
Member
Posts: 5966
Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2007 2:20 pm
Location: South Georgia

Diagnosis

Postby strawman » Fri Nov 30, 2007 11:32 pm

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome produces this, no? But how can you get hung up on that aspect? Are symptoms determinative of plot? The kid's dialogue and interaction was very authentic. Norms use of the playroom chime music, and its return coincidental to Alice again being reminded of the sea combined with the Thomas Hardyesque plot and tone of inevitability as the mother's good intentions devolve into inevitable tragedy. All these elements cooked together in a very satisfying way for me.

All topped off by the Norm's desert cherry about marbles being collected by those who have lost them.

Truly a TA-DA moment.

User avatar
tbaker2500
Site Admin
Posts: 3594
Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2007 7:03 pm
Location: West Lafayette, IN
Contact:

Postby tbaker2500 » Fri Dec 07, 2007 3:43 am

Yes indeed, Cat's Eye is a type of marble.

http://www.landofmarbles.com/mk297.html

I was really surprised that this joke wasn't intended to be made.

I loved the ending.

Tom

Diether
Member
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Jun 13, 2008 3:27 am

Postby Diether » Fri Jun 13, 2008 3:58 am

Not sure what it was about this one, but for some reason Marbles really creeped me out. Maybe it was because I saw it coming, maybe becuase I have kids that age and am always encouraging them to play and share with others, maybe because I miss my cat. OK, probably not that last one since he like to pee on a lot of stuff, but it did creep me out. I actually cringed on the bus--well done Ayn!

One last thing. Is it just me or did Norm sound a lot like Dwight Schrute from The Office in his lead in and lead outs up until the post-story comments in episode 39? Now he sounds more, well, normal. Somehow that seems inappropriate for Drabblecast.

hellostephanie
Member
Posts: 5
Joined: Fri Jul 18, 2008 3:43 pm

Postby hellostephanie » Fri Jul 18, 2008 3:46 pm

Ugh, sorry, didn't care for this one. It was needlessly unpleasant, and I'm not into stories with cruelty to animals, especially cats.


Return to “Story Discussion - Main and Drabbleclassics”



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron