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Drabblecast 072 - Exit

Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 8:42 pm
by Mr. Tweedy
Exit by Jeff Carlson

Last night I told Doctor Halwag he had twenty-four hours. NORAD refused to give us any more time. We were down to roughly one hundred eighty minutes now, with nothing to do but fill our neglected bellies... I stifled an exhausted giggle. Bad idea to get started. I might not stop...

Jeff Carlson
Drabble News: Bowel Worms are Good for You?
Music- Interiors by Sara Ayers

Posted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 3:36 am
by delfedd
This story didn't do much for me. I kept expecting a twist that never came. The story definitely had potential. Like, if the main characters called out and it turned out that they where an experiment conducted by some scientist on a new drug. The story was a bit too slow of pace for me.

Norad

Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 4:38 pm
by Gligstith(click)optok
No-Rad? Nor-ad? :?

I loved the story. Yes it was predicable, but it didn’t pretend not to be. It was a well told, poignant cautionary tale.

Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 4:44 pm
by Mr. Tweedy
I really liked the production. Hearing Norm sound gruff and hard-bitten was a nice switch. Geez, that guy can do anything. Similarly, the writing was good. Nice and grim and gritty with pretty good characters.

But there wasn't any story to the story. These people are locked in a bunker because they're infected with this crazy virus and then– The end. Maybe if a talking mole had showed up and offered to make him King of the Underworld...

Posted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 5:54 am
by Chivalrybean
It was ok. That all I have to say about that.

Posted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 9:27 am
by cammoblammo
Mr. Tweedy wrote:I really liked the production. Hearing Norm sound gruff and hard-bitten was a nice switch. Geez, that guy can do anything. Similarly, the writing was good. Nice and grim and gritty with pretty good characters.

But there wasn't any story to the story. These people are locked in a bunker because they're infected with this crazy virus and then– The end.
Thanks Mr Tweedy, you've saved me some time. I wasn't able to concentrate on this DC as much as I can, and I figured I missed something. I was about to listen to it again. Now I won't.

Everything else was top notch, as always.

Posted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 10:18 am
by deflective
did you think that you would never be lonely again? did you think you had it all figured out?

that was odd.

Posted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 3:42 pm
by tbaker2500
cammoblammo wrote:
Mr. Tweedy wrote:I really liked the production. Hearing Norm sound gruff and hard-bitten was a nice switch. Geez, that guy can do anything. Similarly, the writing was good. Nice and grim and gritty with pretty good characters.

But there wasn't any story to the story. These people are locked in a bunker because they're infected with this crazy virus and then– The end.
Thanks Mr Tweedy, you've saved me some time. I wasn't able to concentrate on this DC as much as I can, and I figured I missed something. I was about to listen to it again. Now I won't.

Everything else was top notch, as always.
Thanks Cammoblammo, you've saved me some time. I was in the same position as you, and now I can save even more time by echoing your statement.

Posted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 5:31 pm
by zZzacha
tbaker2500 wrote:
cammoblammo wrote:
Mr. Tweedy wrote:I really liked the production. Hearing Norm sound gruff and hard-bitten was a nice switch. Geez, that guy can do anything. Similarly, the writing was good. Nice and grim and gritty with pretty good characters.

But there wasn't any story to the story. These people are locked in a bunker because they're infected with this crazy virus and then– The end.
Thanks Mr Tweedy, you've saved me some time. I wasn't able to concentrate on this DC as much as I can, and I figured I missed something. I was about to listen to it again. Now I won't.

Everything else was top notch, as always.
Thanks Cammoblammo, you've saved me some time. I was in the same position as you, and now I can save even more time by echoing your statement.
Thanks, tbaker2500, you've saved me some time. I just love the echo sound this post is starting to make.

The story started out real nice, it has potential for a _great_ ending with twists and climaxes and stuff. And then, to use Mr. Tweedy's words, The end.

Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 1:38 am
by jalan
I wasn't bothered so much by the end. I wasn't expecting any sort of a twist, and overall thought it was a pretty good little piece.

Re: Drabblecast 072 - Exit

Posted: Fri Apr 19, 2013 4:43 pm
by sandrilde
/echo -

Seemed promising/interesting, wanted a better "ending" feeling. I think endings are the hardest part of writing, personally.