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An Objective Opinion

Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 3:26 am
by ROU Killing Time
Doctor Fornib had worked for years on his machine.

With trembling hands, he turned the switch of the Objectivizer to the “on” position.

“I know all. Without bias or ideology, I can solve any philosophical dispute put before me,” the machine intoned in a mechanical voice.

It continued, “Ask me whatever moral, theological, or political dilemma troubles you, oh creator, and I shall give you my objective opinion and suggest the proper course of action that you should pursue.”

“So,“ Fornib began, “What’s with those 80’s hair bands? Are they really valid heirs’ apparent to the likes of Led Zeppelin?”

Re: An Objective Opinion

Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 3:31 am
by eric_marsh
"No," the machine replied, "they are the misguided heirs of Led Zeppelin."

Re: An Objective Opinion

Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 3:39 am
by ROU Killing Time
I hope I don't start a nuclear flame-war with the theme and content of this drabble. (Some people take their Led Zeppelin or their hair bands seriously, after all...)

Re: An Objective Opinion

Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 3:40 am
by eric_marsh
Not to worry - we all know that the drabble is a fantasy. There can be no heirs to Led Zeppelin because when the band died, so did rock and roll! :)

Re: An Objective Opinion

Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 5:20 am
by Algernon Sydney is Dead
eric_marsh wrote:Not to worry - we all know that tbe drabble is a fantasy. There can be no heirs to Led Zeppelin because when the band died, so did rock and roll! :)
Au contraire, my Aqua album puts the lie to that!

But it is a fantasy that that was a drabble.
ROU Killing Time wrote:Doctor Fornib had worked for years on his machine.

With trembling hands, he turned the switch of the Objectivizer to the “on” position.

“I know all. Without bias or ideology, I can solve any philosophical dispute put before me,” the machine intoned in a mechanical voice.

It continued, “Ask me whatever moral, theological, or political dilemma troubles you, oh creator, and I shall give you my objective opinion and suggest the proper course of action that you should pursue.”

“So, “ Fornib began, “What’s with 80’s hair bands? Are they really valid heirs’ apparent to the likes of Led Zeppelin?”
Only has 99 words. :wink:

Re: An Objective Opinion

Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 6:38 am
by dreamrock
Mm, yum. We do use our inventions for such trivial purposes from time to time.

Re: An Objective Opinion

Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 7:39 am
by ROU Killing Time
Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote:
eric_marsh wrote:Not to worry - we all know that tbe drabble is a fantasy. There can be no heirs to Led Zeppelin because when the band died, so did rock and roll! :)
Au contraire, my Aqua album puts the lie to that!

But it is a fantasy that that was a drabble.
ROU Killing Time wrote:Doctor Fornib had worked for years on his machine.

With trembling hands, he turned the switch of the Objectivizer to the “on” position.

“I know all. Without bias or ideology, I can solve any philosophical dispute put before me,” the machine intoned in a mechanical voice.

It continued, “Ask me whatever moral, theological, or political dilemma troubles you, oh creator, and I shall give you my objective opinion and suggest the proper course of action that you should pursue.”

“So, “ Fornib began, “What’s with 80’s hair bands? Are they really valid heirs’ apparent to the likes of Led Zeppelin?”
Only has 99 words. :wink:
http://www.wordcounttool.com" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false and MS word both say 100 words. (Not that there's any need for a solid internet tool to be a final arbrator or anything, I mean, who writes fricken drabbles anyway... Everyone knows the big mone is in twabbling...) :P

Re: An Objective Opinion

Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 8:47 am
by Algernon Sydney is Dead
ROU Killing Time wrote:http://www.wordcounttool.com and MS word both say 100 words. (Not that there's any need for a solid internet tool to be a final arbrator or anything, I mean, who writes fricken drabbles anyway... Everyone knows the big mone is in twabbling...) :P
http://www.wordcounttool.com" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false is fooled by "Smart" apostrophes. Replace those with decent, red-blooded, AMERICAN apostrophes, and you'll see that it's only 99 words.

Microcrap *invented* the non-standard, improperly-handled version of "smart" quotes. So, naturally, it's even more fooled by them than most cheaper apps. Microcrap even counts a single quote, surrounded by spaces, as a word!

Anywho, here is your not-drabble, cleansed of "smart" quotes. Paste it into both tools and you shall see that you came up short. :P :wink:
Doctor Fornib had worked for years on his machine.

With trembling hands, he turned the switch of the Objectivizer to the "on" position.

"I know all. Without bias or ideology, I can solve any philosophical dispute put before me," the machine intoned in a mechanical voice.

It continued, "Ask me whatever moral, theological, or political dilemma troubles you, oh creator, and I shall give you my objective opinion and suggest the proper course of action that you should pursue."

"So," Fornib began, "What's with 80's hair bands? Are they really valid heirs' apparent to the likes of Led Zeppelin?"
~~~
As for the custom drabble tool, you already know what you must do. You must actually vote, for December, on Podcast alley and then persuade 2 other people to do so (bring the December total to at least 11).
Alternatively, you can cough up my $219 fee. 8)

Re: An Objective Opinion

Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 9:30 am
by ROU Killing Time
I actually did try and vote. Told me to reply to the email I'd be getting. Then never got an email. Tried to vote again, and it said "sorry, you already voted..."

/shrug

Re: An Objective Opinion

Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 9:42 am
by Algernon Sydney is Dead
ROU Killing Time wrote:I actually did try and vote. Told me to reply to the email I'd be getting. Then never got an email. Tried to vote again, and it said "sorry, you already voted..."

/shrug
Well, you can try voting with one of my emails and your IP -- be sure to clear your browser cookies first.

Also, even if you can't vote, can you get 3 other people to?

Re: An Objective Opinion

Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 3:24 pm
by eric_marsh
Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote: Au contraire, my Aqua album puts the lie to that!
Well I guess that's the one fact that destroys the theory.

Re: An Objective Opinion

Posted: Sun Dec 13, 2009 9:08 pm
by Phenopath
I love the idea of this machine. It is a nonsense, whilst one imagines that machines are totally objective I suspect that in practice they would suffer the same bias and prejudices of their creators. Therefore, in this story the machine would of course confirm Dr Fornib's opinion that Led Zeppelin were unsurpassed until Spinal Tap.

Re: An Objective Opinion

Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 8:42 am
by TheJebi
There was a similar scene in the Red Dwarf audio book, "Better than Life", in which the ship's computer becomes much smarter, and asks the toaster what great secret of universe would it like to know the answer to. So of course the toaster inevitably asks, "Would you like some toast?"