Destroyer of Worlds

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F5iver
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Destroyer of Worlds

Post by F5iver » Tue Dec 15, 2009 10:02 pm

Every time Cliff snapped through the dimensional fabric, tiny strings and drippings from the previous dimension hung from his clothes like snot. He would then travel from place to place. A light touch there, a chance brushing up there. He would shake hands with heads of state and visit monuments, museums and mountains. The decay would begin once he left, remnants of his old Universe eating away the new brane, cell by molecule by subatomic particle. It took time, but soon enough he was discovered. But his mere presence ate away at time itself, and each Universe rotted into nothingness.
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Algernon Sydney is Dead
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Re: Destroyer of Worlds

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Tue Dec 15, 2009 10:26 pm

This one starts off awesome! (But does it have to be "like snot"? :lol: )

Needs paragraph breaks and I don't like being left with nothingness (although it fits the story).

But I can just see this as a Sierra Club or Greenpeace, eco-terrorist commercial -- once interdimensional technology is available to the unwashed masses. :D
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Re: Destroyer of Worlds

Post by F5iver » Tue Dec 15, 2009 10:30 pm

Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote:This one starts off awesome! (But does it have to be "like snot"? :lol: )

Needs paragraph breaks and I don't like being left with nothingness (although it fits the story).

But I can just see this as a Sierra Club or Greenpeace, eco-terrorist commercial -- once interdimensional technology is available to the unwashed masses. :D
Oh, it DOES have to be like snot. That's the image in my head...

A commercial? I have :cry: sadness....
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Algernon Sydney is Dead
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Re: Destroyer of Worlds

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Tue Dec 15, 2009 10:38 pm

F5iver wrote:A commercial? I have :cry: sadness....
Oh, Hell yeah! This is way better than falling polar bears!
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Phenopath
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Re: Destroyer of Worlds

Post by Phenopath » Tue Dec 15, 2009 11:31 pm

Nice, and I like snot.
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Re: Destroyer of Worlds

Post by eric_marsh » Tue Dec 15, 2009 11:54 pm

So Cliff is the destroyer of universes? Wow!
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strawman
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Re: Destroyer of Worlds

Post by strawman » Wed Dec 16, 2009 1:11 am

F5iver wrote: tiny strings and drippings from the previous dimension hung from his clothes like snot.
The problem with this simile is that it calls on the reader to conjure his last recollection of snot hanging from his clothing. F5iver is a teacher, so her days are filled with this sight.

Pheno strikes me more as one who enjoys the image based on his fond memories of launching them from his forefinger onto unaware politicians.
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Algernon Sydney is Dead
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Re: Destroyer of Worlds

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Wed Dec 16, 2009 1:19 am

strawman wrote:The problem with this simile is that it calls on the reader to conjure his last recollection of snot hanging from his clothing. F5iver is a teacher, so her days are filled with this sight.
Or similar substance, clothing optional.
Teachers are hot! Just sayin...
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