Time Machine

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munsi
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Time Machine

Post by munsi » Thu Jan 14, 2010 7:49 am

“You can’t build a time machine out of spare parts you found at a yard sale!” she told me.

But when my machine whirred to life, lights flashing and gears turning, opening a rift in the very fabric of time through which both it and I disappeared, I proved her wrong.

Now, trapped three thousand years in the past, staring at the wreckage of my creation, unable to buy parts to repair it, I realize what she meant.

You can build a time machine out of spare parts you found at a yard sale.

But not a very good one.

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ROU Killing Time
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Re: Time Machine

Post by ROU Killing Time » Thu Jan 14, 2010 8:19 am

hearty chuckle.

Very good. Great punchline.
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strawman
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Re: Time Machine

Post by strawman » Thu Jan 14, 2010 2:21 pm

What he said.
And very well written. No syntactical evidence of a struggle "getting all the body parts into the Drabble box".
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

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ROU Killing Time
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Re: Time Machine

Post by ROU Killing Time » Thu Jan 14, 2010 6:01 pm

strawman wrote:What he said.
And very well written. No syntactical evidence of a struggle "getting all the body parts into the Drabble box".
Inorite? RIght out the starting gate and he scores a drabble I could easily see getting picked up for the 'cast, and not even a whiff of Miss Grimsley's decaying flesh rising from the ground.

Keep this up and you'll be a forum favorite.

Makes me a bit jealous, when you consider some of the torture I've been through (and put my editorial team through as well)

Please write more drabbles.
"Never fuck with The Culture"
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Phenopath
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Re: Time Machine

Post by Phenopath » Thu Jan 14, 2010 9:47 pm

I like this. I like time travel stories anyway, and this is doozy.
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ROU Killing Time
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Re: Time Machine

Post by ROU Killing Time » Thu Jan 14, 2010 10:40 pm

Phenopath wrote:I like this. I like time travel stories anyway, and this is doozy.
I like them too, but they are perhaps the most hackneyed of the genre. It's rare to find one where you don't say "ah, that's just like story so and so..." and that's one of the reasons this one works so well. Not that "stuck in the past" hasn't probably been done before either. It was just done very well here, and I didn't expect that is where it was going.
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Phenopath
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Re: Time Machine

Post by Phenopath » Thu Jan 14, 2010 10:49 pm

ROU Killing Time wrote:
Phenopath wrote:I like this. I like time travel stories anyway, and this is doozy.
I like them too, but they are perhaps the most hackneyed of the genre. It's rare to find one where you don't say "ah, that's just like story so and so..." and that's one of the reasons this one works so well. Not that "stuck in the past" hasn't probably been done before either. It was just done very well here, and I didn't expect that is where it was going.
I like it because, of course, he should have listened to his wife.
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strawman
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Re: Time Machine

Post by strawman » Thu Jan 14, 2010 11:09 pm

Yep. Always listen to the chimps.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

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Algernon Sydney is Dead
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Re: Time Machine

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Thu Jan 14, 2010 11:37 pm

Ditto all that (well except the part about listening to wives and chimps).

Very nice drabble.

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munsi
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Re: Time Machine

Post by munsi » Fri Jan 15, 2010 1:26 am

Thanks, guys, that’s a really encouraging response! And I will keep writing ‘em, I’m enjoying the format quite a bit.

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ROU Killing Time
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Re: Time Machine

Post by ROU Killing Time » Fri Jan 15, 2010 1:43 am

strawman wrote:Yep. Always listen to the chimps.
Mrs. Strawman doesn't read these forums, does she?
"Never fuck with The Culture"
Sublime In Peace Iain M. Banks.

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strawman
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Re: Time Machine

Post by strawman » Fri Jan 15, 2010 3:34 am

Just can't help showing off my bright, shiny Y-chromey bling, bro'.

Mrs. Strawman knows that PMS Avenger will put me in my place.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

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crazyhorse
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Re: Time Machine

Post by crazyhorse » Sat Jan 16, 2010 9:48 pm

Great drabble, munsi! I really enjoyed the "awww, shit" moment at the end.
The floggings will continue until morale improves.

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Re: Time Machine

Post by eric_marsh » Mon Jan 18, 2010 3:24 pm

I think this is one of the better drabbles that I've read recently. Clever ending.
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ROU Killing Time
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Re: Time Machine

Post by ROU Killing Time » Mon Jan 18, 2010 6:50 pm

eric_marsh wrote:I think this is one of the better drabbles that I've read recently. Clever ending.
Strong agreement. My crystal ball says that if an episode comes up with a time travel story in the main event, this had a real good chance of being paired with it.

Not an official opinion, but a strong gut reaction.
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Sublime In Peace Iain M. Banks.

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ROU Killing Time
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Re: Time Machine

Post by ROU Killing Time » Thu Jan 21, 2010 9:25 pm

Can I call them, or can I call them.

Grats ya drabble upstart, you. :thumbs:

(took me some 20 drabbles to make the cut...)
"Never fuck with The Culture"
Sublime In Peace Iain M. Banks.

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themorg
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Re: Time Machine

Post by themorg » Thu Jan 21, 2010 9:55 pm

ROU Killing Time wrote:Please write more drabbles.


What the forum hog said
Drabbillus Haventnpigeonholdhimus
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munsi
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Re: Time Machine

Post by munsi » Thu Jan 21, 2010 10:04 pm

aw, thanks, all :)

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