Assistance

100 word stories. Post all you like, maybe we'll dip in and use yours?
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Bardwidth
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Assistance

Post by Bardwidth » Sat Jan 16, 2010 9:58 pm

"Assistance"
by Kyle MacDougall


Clearly, he should never have become a starship pilot.

His small freighter hung dying in space, in the wake of an enemy attack. Engines were down and oxygen leaked slowly. If he could just hold out long enough to be rescued…

“Computer,” he rasped. “Divert all remaining power to life support!”

“Stand by.” A pause. “Dialing life support. Please hold……(your breath). Your call is important to us. Please note that most user problems with ‘life’ can be solved by simply rebooting the system.”

Why, oh why, had he let that amateur mechanic install a computer with a sense of humor?
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dreamrock
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Re: Assistance

Post by dreamrock » Sat Jan 16, 2010 10:37 pm

Hahahaha, not at all what I was expecting. I'm normally not a huge fan of space drabbles, but this was quite funny.

My only complaint is with the ellipses. The first one was fine, but the second one didn't add to the story. "Please hold your breath" would have worked fine, and the ellipses and parenthesis were a bit distracting.

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Bardwidth
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Re: Assistance

Post by Bardwidth » Sat Jan 16, 2010 11:19 pm

Thanks! :)

The second ellipsis and the parentheses were meant to get the wordplay in that sentence across, but maybe I didn't make that obvious enough.
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ROU Killing Time
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Re: Assistance

Post by ROU Killing Time » Sun Jan 17, 2010 3:05 am

Nice cross-breeding of that annoying computer in Star Trek and Hitchhiker's guide. Where are all these new posters coming from. Norm must be getting viral.

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munsi
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Re: Assistance

Post by munsi » Sun Jan 17, 2010 3:16 am

Bardwidth wrote:Thanks! :)

The second ellipsis and the parentheses were meant to get the wordplay in that sentence across, but maybe I didn't make that obvious enough.
...nah, just assume people will get the wordplay. some of them will miss out on the subtlty, but the people who get it will like you better for it.

very funny story, btw

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Re: Assistance

Post by Phenopath » Sun Jan 17, 2010 9:39 am

Welcome Bardwidth, thumbs up on the drabble.
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