Street Cred

100 word stories. Post all you like, maybe we'll dip in and use yours?
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Scattercat
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Street Cred

Post by Scattercat » Mon Feb 15, 2010 4:54 am

Virj sidestepped the attack ads as he and Jue walked. They were both in SC-QuikChan, and they dared each other to try the stunts and achievements that flashed on the low walls and overhangs.

On the bridge across the highway, traffic roaring below, Jue froze. “Holy shit! Five megacreds.”

“It’s BS. A spoof.”

“I just ran it. Legit.”

“What’s the stunt?” Virj twiddled his fingers to adjust his channel.

“Jump.”

Virj’s brow furrowed. “Who gets paid after that? It’s gotta be a spoof.”

“Dunno,” said Jue. He flicked out more commands. “Holy shit.”

“What?”

Jue swallowed. “Thirty-two payouts to date.”

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Phenopath
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Re: Street Cred

Post by Phenopath » Mon Feb 15, 2010 9:41 pm

Sorry Scattercat, I am afraid that you lost me.
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strawman
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Re: Street Cred

Post by strawman » Mon Feb 15, 2010 10:25 pm

Me neither too.
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dreamrock
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Re: Street Cred

Post by dreamrock » Mon Feb 15, 2010 10:55 pm

It's some sort of (possibly) transhuman society where people get paid for doing stunts ... and some jerkface has decided that they'll pay people to jump off bridges. A lot of money from the sounds of it.

One character thinks there's no way anyone could get a payout and no one would have tried. The other looks it up and finds out that actually quite a few have done it.

There's not enough context in the story to say whether they were alive when they collected on the money.

It doesn't really work as a story for me because there is missing too many elements. We don't have a reason to care about the main characters, nothing really happens, and we're basically just informed that there are some people desperate enough to jump off a bridge for five megacreds. That said, it's an interesting concept and I think a lot could be done with it.


P.S. I'm never quite sure which type of "you lost me" people mean, so if I'm explaining the obvious, I apologize. Just thwap me with a newspaper and yell "*WHOOOOOSH*!"
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Scattercat
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Re: Street Cred

Post by Scattercat » Tue Feb 16, 2010 4:26 am

Dreamrock has quite adequately explained it. I just thought of 'augmented reality' combined with the recent propensity for publicly-listed 'achievements' in video games, and wondered how that would work out in some post-scarcity society in which the nastier side of mankind's sense of humor would have free rein.

It's a concept, not a plot, certainly. On the other hand, it's a hundred words, people. Obv. even only focusing on the concept I only managed to convey the idea to 33% of my responding audience. ;-) I think trying to cram a plot and nuanced characterization in as well might have made it completely incomprehensible. (There WAS more of a plot before I had to trim out 65 words or so, FWIW.)

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dreamrock
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Re: Street Cred

Post by dreamrock » Tue Feb 16, 2010 6:37 am

I know the prevailing wisdom is that writers should show and not tell, but I think this is a case where an exception to the rule could make room for other elements of the story.
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Scattercat
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Re: Street Cred

Post by Scattercat » Fri Feb 19, 2010 8:19 am

Eh, I'd rather just do a longer story if it comes to that. I loathe telling over showing, even a little bit. I like to figure stuff out when I read, doggone it.

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Phenopath
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Re: Street Cred

Post by Phenopath » Fri Feb 19, 2010 2:15 pm

Scattercat, there are a couple of your pieces which are begging to be expanded upon (this is one of them). I get that myself sometimes; 'have I written a drabble or an intro?'
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Re: Street Cred

Post by Scattercat » Fri Feb 19, 2010 6:27 pm

One of the things I use my daily 'fics for is to get story ideas down so I don't forget them as easily. (And so I can tell which ones have legs. Sometimes a cool idea just doesn't have enough behind it to get all the way through a story.)

If I were more confident in my ability to do a straight scifi or a mystery story, I might expand this one, but I've seen it done better than I could manage.

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Re: Street Cred

Post by LaFleur » Sat Feb 20, 2010 12:47 am

This made me laugh, and then stop laughing and mentally flagellate myself for laughing at something so grotesquely awfulsome.

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Scattercat
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Re: Street Cred

Post by Scattercat » Sat Feb 20, 2010 1:53 am

That's pretty much what I was aiming for. I'm glad somebody liked it. :-D

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