Home Late

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Phenopath
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Home Late

Post by Phenopath » Thu May 13, 2010 11:21 pm

My return is announced by the crunch of gravel as I pull into the drive. I am late and I anticipate another row with Sandra, although in truth we would fight if I were back on time.

As I park something catches my eye though the gloom;`a white shape luminous in the moonlight. I strain my eyes to make it out, and then with recognition comes realisation.

A swan. Nailed to the door of my house. Its wings spread, but its neck broken and hanging limp over its chest.

And then I know that they are back. Oh God, Sandra...
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bell
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Re: Home Late

Post by bell » Fri May 14, 2010 4:31 am

It's not dead. It's resting. Pining for the fjords Beautiful plumage...
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What would have been written.
Spoiler:
If they hadn't died first.

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Travelin Corpse Feet
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Re: Home Late

Post by Travelin Corpse Feet » Fri May 14, 2010 5:09 am

If I had a dollar for every time this happened to me, I'd have like 75 cents.
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Scattercat
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Re: Home Late

Post by Scattercat » Fri May 14, 2010 6:01 am

I must be missing the reference here...

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Phenopath
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Re: Home Late

Post by Phenopath » Fri May 14, 2010 8:14 am

Scattercat wrote:I must be missing the reference here...
No reference, only the unarguable conclusion that nothing reminds one of the important thing in life like a dead swan swan nailed to the front door.
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Scattercat
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Re: Home Late

Post by Scattercat » Fri May 14, 2010 2:17 pm

Ah. See, I was going, "Back... migratory? Swans, geese... There's the Swan Prince, a swan song, the black swan... But why nailed? Crucified? Swans and religious imagery... no, nothing. Was there some book or movie baddie who used dead swans as some kind of warning?"

I think that if it were a less bizarrely specific thing, like just a gash in the door, or soot marks, or drops of blood and the door hanging open, then it would be less problematic. As it is, it reminds me of "Cow Tools" by Gary Larson, where he had a pretty simple joke in mind, but he inadvertently made one of the tools look like a saw, and so everyone thought that the joke was somewhere in figuring out what the OTHER nonsense shapes "really" were.

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strawman
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Re: Home Late

Post by strawman » Fri May 14, 2010 4:44 pm

I hate swans. Dirty, nasty rapists.
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bell
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Re: Home Late

Post by bell » Sat May 15, 2010 5:04 am

Reference?

"A young girl lives all her life on the shore of a lake. She loves the lake, like a seagull, and she's happy and free, like a seagull. But a man arrives by chance, and when he sees her, he destroys her, out of sheer boredom. Like this seagull." -- A. P Chekhov, The Seagull

Swan is just a big fat seagull...
http://www.apoGrypha.blogspot.com" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

What would have been written.
Spoiler:
If they hadn't died first.

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Domition
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Re: Home Late

Post by Domition » Sat May 15, 2010 5:18 am

Listen, signets comes and signets go, but what are you going to do about it? thats what I'd like to know. There is no such thing, ornithologically speaking, as a seagull. There are herring gulls, black backed gulls, and so forth, but the sea gull is a made up mother humper. What say you, posters?
All the answers lay in her cold, dead fist. No one thought to look there before the burial.

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strawman
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Re: Home Late

Post by strawman » Sat May 15, 2010 12:11 pm

I want a gull just like the gull that married dear old dad.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

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