The Work That Must Be Done

100 word stories. Post all you like, maybe we'll dip in and use yours?
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Scattercat
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The Work That Must Be Done

Post by Scattercat » Wed May 19, 2010 5:56 am

I apologize in advance. You'll understand after you read it.

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In the factory that makes teddy bears, there are rosy-cheeked women who stuff the soft padding into the fur. They laugh and tell each other about their grandchildren.

In the factory that makes teddy bears, artists paint bright-patterned bow-ties and miniature jackets. They smile and have comradely contests to see who can make the most delightful mixture of colors.

In the factory that makes teddy bears, there is a sad-faced old man with a hammer. As each fluffy body passes by his station and sits up, blinking with the wonder of the new world, he swings the hammer once, sharply.

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eric_marsh
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Re: The Work That Must Be Done

Post by eric_marsh » Wed May 19, 2010 12:16 pm

Very well written - poor, poor Teddy Bears!
Life is a tragedy for those who feel, but a comedy to those who think. - Horace Walpole
Eric's Drabbles: http://eric-marsh.blogspot.com/"

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strawman
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Re: The Work That Must Be Done

Post by strawman » Wed May 19, 2010 12:21 pm

A drabble made of crushed innocence. Why apologize?
Remember the millions of smiling children who will cuddle these cute corpses.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

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isfullofcrap
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Re: The Work That Must Be Done

Post by isfullofcrap » Wed May 19, 2010 3:12 pm

Me likey.

----------

The Build A Bear people wouldn't let me record a custom squeeze-message.

I see nothing wrong with: "The next time you leave the knife drawer open, I'm cutting my wrists."

Damn toymaking fascists.
-ls
"And, as always, keep it brief."
https://oneadayuntilthedayidie.com

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bell
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Re: The Work That Must Be Done

Post by bell » Wed May 19, 2010 4:13 pm

Brilliant! Norm, get this one into a 'cast NOW!
http://www.apoGrypha.blogspot.com" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

What would have been written.
Spoiler:
If they hadn't died first.

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Phenopath
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Re: The Work That Must Be Done

Post by Phenopath » Thu May 20, 2010 10:31 pm

Hahaha
Phenopath's Story Archive
The Dribblecast, we don't care if you sound like an idiot.

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TheBori
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Re: The Work That Must Be Done

Post by TheBori » Thu Jun 17, 2010 3:18 am

I listened to the Drabblecast containing this today....BRAVO! Not your typical anthropomorphic toy story...focusing on the employees..brilliant. Almost a Twilight Zone ending, but again, focusing on the people...again, well done.

I delight in the precision and brevity of Drabbles. Much like a comic strip (the single most underappreciated artform out there) you have to set it up, develop it and exicute it in a very brief span of time. The beauty is in what is left out...what is understood by the reader...what is inferred...and then, of course, de-railing that.

I look forward to these Drabbles, and I must say, this one is my favorite.

Mike Boris
http://www.MikeBorisAudio.com" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

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Scattercat
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Re: The Work That Must Be Done

Post by Scattercat » Thu Jun 17, 2010 7:00 am

Glad you enjoyed it!

(There are, it may be pointed out, over 570 others like it at Mirrorshards, now in its 19th month of mostly uninterrupted functioning. I tend to post here only if I'm particularly pleased or if I think the forums will especially enjoy one, but I write one every day. They're not all a good fit with the culture of the forums, and I know Norm has expressed a preference for ones that end properly while I, left to my own devices, tend more often than not to trail off significantly rather than put anything like a clear resolution in. Still, if this one's your favorite, perhaps your second favorite is in the Mirrorshards archives somewhere...)

In re: actual points raised, I think that compressed forms are very good practice for learning what is truly necessary in a story. There's a lot of fluff that adds flavor, definition, and full-bodied complexity to a work of writing, but it does tend to boil down to a few key elements, artfully arranged.

I recall an apocryphal tale of a Zen calligraphy master who set his student to studying one particular ideogram, painting it over and over and over. The student worked more and more carefully each day, taking longer and longer, and each time the master told him to go back and start over.

Then, one day, a customer came to purchase a scroll from the famed calligraphy master. He wanted the same ideogram. The master picked up the brush, dipped it in the ink, concentrated for a brief moment, and then, in a few quick and economical strokes, dashed out the ideogram perfectly. The man left, pleased, but the student was incensed and confronted his master. "How could you charge so much for something you did with so little effort?"

The answer was: "I charge for all I have studied to let me do so."

Of course, I give mine away for free. Not sure what that means.

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Re: The Work That Must Be Done

Post by noticen24 » Fri Jun 18, 2010 3:54 am

Very well written

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Omino Pascal
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Re: The Work That Must Be Done

Post by Omino Pascal » Fri Jun 18, 2010 8:31 am

Nice pull back and reveal. Reminds me of an episode of Futurama.

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Re: The Work That Must Be Done

Post by mooore17 » Fri Nov 11, 2011 7:25 am

Omino Pascal wrote:Nice pull back and reveal. Reminds me of an episode of Futurama.
yes i saw tomorrow it is really pull back..

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