Morose Coloured Glasses

100 word stories. Post all you like, maybe we'll dip in and use yours?
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JeffJ
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Morose Coloured Glasses

Post by JeffJ » Mon Jun 28, 2010 5:43 am

Blanston peered out at the night from the little shop’s window.

Automobiles cruised by outside like antediluvian predators prowling an asphalt savanna. Stark street light reflecting from the enamelled skin of their machined torsos in warped Dali-esque distortions of an inwardly-twisted urban backdrop.

Thin streamers of cloud clawed the sky like pale, ghoulish fingers trying to pluck at the gleaming, newly minted silver dollar of a moon from black velvet. Velvet being chewed by the steel and glass teeth of a city’s jagged skyline.

Blanston turned back to the proprietor, “Wow! These really were Dean Koontz’s glasses! I’ll take ‘em!”

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mrsmica
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Re: Morose Coloured Glasses

Post by mrsmica » Mon Jun 28, 2010 1:17 pm

Haha!

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strawman
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Re: Morose Coloured Glasses

Post by strawman » Mon Jun 28, 2010 3:32 pm

Mucho gusto.
(However I think Koontz takes better care of his sentences,)
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
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JeffJ
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Re: Morose Coloured Glasses

Post by JeffJ » Mon Jun 28, 2010 3:43 pm

I always thought he grocery-listed a bit too much in his early work, but I'll admit that I went a bit over the top for illustrative purposes. :-)

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gustomaestro
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Re: Morose Coloured Glasses

Post by gustomaestro » Mon Jun 28, 2010 10:50 pm

Another cool one. Very clever. Not that I've read any Koontz lately. Very little since 'Watchers' in fact.

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Phenopath
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Re: Morose Coloured Glasses

Post by Phenopath » Tue Jun 29, 2010 8:22 am

I am doubly disappointed; I do not know who Dean Koontz is, and I had been hoping for a story about Moose Coloured Glasses :(
Phenopath's Story Archive
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Scattercat
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Re: Morose Coloured Glasses

Post by Scattercat » Tue Jun 29, 2010 10:59 pm

Stephen King would be a better choice, really. Dean Koontz is about as dark as a four-creamer coffee.

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JeffJ
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Re: Morose Coloured Glasses

Post by JeffJ » Fri Jul 02, 2010 5:02 am

King's a better story teller (IMHO), but Koontz could really lay it on thick with the similes. He has an annoying habit of building the suspense, then spending a paragraph talking about the friggin' silver dollar on black velvet.

"And as she gazed at the twinkling silver dollar, she let a long, slow breath. A slow breath like a connoisseur of a fine cigar exhaling rich smoke into a dark glass of brandy. Brandy that coursed down one's throat like a fat kid down a water-slide... uh... what were we talking about?"

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