The Device

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Ed Woychowsky
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The Device

Post by Ed Woychowsky » Wed Jun 30, 2010 8:03 pm

The device emitted an acrid odor which betrayed it's small size. A thin pseudopod of blue-gray smoke questing for the ceiling was the only indication of the device's malevolent nature, it's dark desire to thwart my every action.

When I went to Miskatonic University in Arkham Massachusetts, one of the Chemistry professors, Professor Ellery, I think, had a yard sale. It was there that I found and purchased the device. Almost from the first the device behaved counter to my wishes, never performing in the desired manner. Now daily the device opposes me!

Once again, my toast is burned.

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Re: The Device

Post by strawman » Wed Jun 30, 2010 9:05 pm

Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
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Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

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Re: The Device

Post by dreamrock » Wed Jun 30, 2010 9:47 pm

Been there, man.

I've got one that refuses to adequately cook bagels at even it's highest level and burns bread on all but the lowest level ... which turns the bread into slightly warm bread.

I'm pretty sure the only thing it is capable of properly cooking is minions of elder gods. And cell phone cables. Which seems redundant when one thinks about it.

Its only upside is that it has exactly five settings, which saves me the trouble of figuring out how the toaster relates to the number five.
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Re: The Device

Post by PureChance » Wed Jun 30, 2010 11:07 pm

Hey, when there's an apocalypse lead by the Elder Gods where they force cell phones to rise up against humanity it'll be priceless. Able to not only stop the minions in their path, but to destroy their sources of feeding, hence preventing their gaining enough energy to undergo binary fission. Yep, I'm sure it's only a matter of when. And we'll all turn to you and that toaster. I hope you're ready.
"Everything tricks, and everything cheats, and everything, everything, everything eats."

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