Not quite the Apocalypse

100 word stories. Post all you like, maybe we'll dip in and use yours?
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Ed Woychowsky
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Not quite the Apocalypse

Post by Ed Woychowsky » Thu Sep 23, 2010 1:56 pm

We were caught in the middle of the street, the four horsemen bore down upon us. Letting go of my hand grandma seemed confused, rummaging through her purse instead of trying to flee. After a moment grandma found what she was looking for. Leveling her Glock, grandma dropped the black horse's rider, then the white, the red and finally the pale rider. The Apocalypse was still born.

Of course, grandma had to deal with the wrongful life lawsuits from a number of televangelists who felt there constitutional right to freedom of religion was infringed upon, but that was another story.

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Scattercat
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Re: Not quite the Apocalypse

Post by Scattercat » Thu Sep 23, 2010 2:16 pm

Great image!

But...

- If we "were" caught, then the four horsemen need to be "bearing" down, or we need to be "caught as the four horsemen bore down." Simple past vs. past progressive.

- "Stillborn" is one word.

- "Their" constitutional right

- Their constitution right "had been" infringed upon

Ed Woychowsky
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Posts: 23
Joined: Mon May 24, 2010 11:52 pm

Re: Not quite the Apocalypse

Post by Ed Woychowsky » Thu Sep 23, 2010 2:26 pm

Thanks. That's what I get for slapping this together in five minutes.

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Scattercat
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Re: Not quite the Apocalypse

Post by Scattercat » Thu Sep 23, 2010 4:59 pm

Grandmothers shooting down gods is probably worth it.

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