First Contact

100 word stories. Post all you like, maybe we'll dip in and use yours?
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thebrog
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First Contact

Post by thebrog » Sat Sep 13, 2008 4:41 am

First Contact
by: Tristan Johnson

The world gasped as the alien spacecraft opened, and the entire planet got its first glimpse at an alien species. It covered itself in slivers of protein, walked on two fleshy tendrils, and breathed a highly corrosive gas. He seemed to manipulate a machine with flagella attached to two tentacles coming from the upper half of its writhing muscular body, wrapped in a thick suit. It looked as us and pressed a button on the machine; it warbled a bit of noise in their confusing language, and then translated.

“We are Humans from the planet Earth, we come in peace.”

cammoblammo
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Re: First Contact

Post by cammoblammo » Sat Sep 13, 2008 8:37 am

Nice.

I picked the twist at the 'two fleshy tendrils', but that just made the rest more interesting. Good work!

LajesticVantrashellofLob
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Post by LajesticVantrashellofLob » Sun Sep 14, 2008 12:50 am

I loved the twist there.

The description of humans is a bit strange, even after knowing the twist, but I suppose the reader doesn't know what kind of aliens we've come into contact with. They probably have completely different ideas of what a being should look like, so the description actually does make sense in that light.

I especially like the phrase "corrosive gas". Along with the strange description of humans, it gives the reader a better feel for the whole "alien-ness" of this other world we've landed on.

Any drabble that gives me that much to think about must be pretty damn good (This response is longer than your story!). Two thumbs up, and keep writing! I'd love to see more like this...
Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.

You're always the hero in your own story - life is about not being the villain in anyone else's.

thebrog
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Post by thebrog » Sun Sep 14, 2008 9:07 am

LajesticVantrashellofLob wrote:I loved the twist there.

The description of humans is a bit strange, even after knowing the twist, but I suppose the reader doesn't know what kind of aliens we've come into contact with. They probably have completely different ideas of what a being should look like, so the description actually does make sense in that light.

I especially like the phrase "corrosive gas". Along with the strange description of humans, it gives the reader a better feel for the whole "alien-ness" of this other world we've landed on.

Any drabble that gives me that much to think about must be pretty damn good (This response is longer than your story!). Two thumbs up, and keep writing! I'd love to see more like this...
I thank you very much for the kind words and with the wording, I think I might want to smooth it out a bit more.

As for the corrosive gas thing, we can't really tell but Oxygen is a corrosive gas, just look what it does to iron.

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