Rough Stuff--a shameless drabble

100 word stories. Post all you like, maybe we'll dip in and use yours?
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guitardel
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Rough Stuff--a shameless drabble

Post by guitardel » Thu Sep 25, 2008 3:12 am

She moved over him breathlessly, sensuously, thrusting steadily. Her writhing, rhythmic movement stiffened him in electric anticipation. Quivering with the building tension of animal desire, he lightly brushed her thigh with his mouth, teasing and tasting. He had never wanted anything more than this moment, her, now. When at last he came it was with one mighty thrust, sinking himself deep into her soft wet belly. She cried out once in a beautiful agony, her hands pounding his back, her body warm, weak, spent.

The great beast shook his head, swallowing in climax, and crashed back into the reddening sea.


It is bad enough to write a bad drabble, but to do it in such a shameless genre. I apologize in advance!

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Mr. Tweedy
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Post by Mr. Tweedy » Thu Sep 25, 2008 3:31 am

Eh? Squid sex?

But squid couldn't crash back into the sea: They're already underwater. And their beaks are in the center of their bodies: He'd have to get too close to be doing any teasing with that.

It is squid sex, right?
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Post by guitardel » Thu Sep 25, 2008 4:51 am

Mr. Tweedy wrote: It is squid sex, right?
Not that imaginative. I was thinking of the opening scene of jaws. Norm couldn't produce it though, cause the opening music would give it away.

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Post by Mr. Tweedy » Thu Sep 25, 2008 5:06 am

Ah... I've actually never seen Jaws.

I was mostly this line that convinced me it was squids. "When at last he came it was with one mighty thrust, sinking himself deep into her soft wet belly." I figured that as a reference to the fabled "sperm sword." (Hear Drabblecast 59.)
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Post by tbaker2500 » Thu Sep 25, 2008 5:07 am

Mr. Tweedy wrote:It is squid sex, right?
Hee hee... Not in many places would this phrase be uttered.

Fun drabble, good job. Thanks for sharing it with us.

What about putting the word shark in the ending, or something a little more concrete that this isn't a sex story? That would make the humor hit harder, I think.
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Post by guitardel » Thu Sep 25, 2008 12:15 pm

tbaker2500 wrote:What about putting the word shark in the ending, or something a little more concrete that this isn't a sex story? That would make the humor hit harder, I think.
Funny how that is--you have an idea and the image is so strong in your mind as you write that you can't imagine someone else doesn't see it immediately.

The great shark (or great white) shook his head, swallowing in climax, and crashed back into the reddening sea.

It works as well or better. Thanks.

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