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A couple Drabbles

Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 10:04 pm
by Snickelsox
I am pretty new to the format, and the rules of this forum so please excuse me if I break a couple of them. I promise to do better next time.

Anyway I wrote a few Drabbles based on the topics given. I plan on doing many more if these are any good. (And even if they are not) So let me know what you think.

Category: Survival: The art of not gettin' yo ass killed.
The friends I had at my side had already fallen, and the life I possessed was quickly slipping away. My life flashed in a flurry before my eyes and the end was upon me. I had fought a good fight, but in the end it was not enough. My opponent, a wall of patterned attacks, had outmatched me in all ways except one. He had neglected to hide his aversion to ice from me. Next time I would not fall to his blows so easily. But first, I need to grind out a few more levels. Load Save Game? Yes!

Category: There Goes the Neighborhood Odd conquests, unlikely invasions, peculiar outcomes.
When the invasion first started nobody worried. Why fret over a few underdeveloped idiots? Some of our own even sought to help the aliens, and the transgressor's numbers grew because of it. Others rejected the newfound monsters and sought to destroy them. Death would always prevail for a time but it seemed as though no matter how much of a blow to their population we caused, they would survive, and again flourish. But just wait until these humans see what we have in store for them now, even our brother penicillin will not be able to help them this time.

Category: Communication Breakdown Not on the same page, conversation barriers, in one ear/out the other.
I had written most of the shopping list myself. After my wife had become ill she had not been able to help around the house much, she spent all of her time in our bedroom trying to recover. But I loved her and so it was not hard for me to pick up the day to day chores. So once the list had been made I asked my wife if there was anything else she wanted me to get. It's the same thing she always requests, but I am still not sure what specialty store in town would sell brains.

Category: Communication Breakdown Not on the same page, conversation barriers, in one ear/out the other.
We both sat, staring intently into one another's eyes. The master told me that telepathy could only come once your mind was completely clear. I focused, meditating upon my own breaths and then forgetting those as well. It had taken years of training to force my mind to evaporate all thought and sit in the still empty space of unconsciousness. But here and now my thoughts would not rest, there was a tugging behind me, some dark force I couldn’t recognize. Oh god, no! The tune rang out in unbounding sinister glory. “Here's the story, of a lovely lady...”

I'd love some sort of feedback, be it negative or otherwise.

Re: A couple Drabbles

Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 1:18 am
by strawman
First suggestion: Post each drabble under a new topic so comments can follow in threads.

Re: A couple Drabbles

Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 3:52 pm
by Snickelsox
Understood.

Re: A couple Drabbles

Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2013 6:38 pm
by uncre8d1
I enjoyed all four of them. The second was my favorite, though the fourth really resonates :)

Re: A couple Drabbles

Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2013 6:44 pm
by PhineasQP
The second and third were my favorites. Good stuff!

Re: A couple Drabbles

Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2013 1:02 am
by HR_Duff_n_Stuff
the fourth really resonated me, probably as I'm way too many days into trying to get an old Pink Floyd album out of my head. Welcome!

Re: A couple Drabbles

Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2013 11:08 am
by strawman
See what I mean?

Re: A couple Drabbles

Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2013 2:22 am
by Snickelsox
Yes, I do see what you mean.

Thank you everybody for your kind words!