Nosebleed

100 word stories. Post all you like, maybe we'll dip in and use yours?
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Phenopath
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Nosebleed

Post by Phenopath » Sat May 09, 2009 11:44 pm

I cross the cafeteria and find a seat close to the object of my affections. My heart races; could the most popular girl in school fall for the king of the chess club, a nerd like me?

I feel a peculiar sensation on my lip. Oh crap, a nosebleed! I clutch my nose, hoping against hope that nobody has seen.

Everybody is looking, not at me, but at the table. I look down and see blood splattered to spell the mocking message:

KEVIN LOVES MELISA

I am betrayed by my body! The room erupts, and I flee fighting back tears.

Sam Vimes
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Post by Sam Vimes » Sun May 10, 2009 1:36 am

I really like the literal image in this. It's overly dramatic, but purposely so, and the nosebleed spelling out letters is amusing and telling.

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Phenopath
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Post by Phenopath » Sun May 10, 2009 8:10 am

Cheers Sam. Teen angst is always dramatic - hence two exclamation marks (non-sequential)!

LajesticVantrashellofLob
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Post by LajesticVantrashellofLob » Mon May 11, 2009 1:21 pm

That was fun!

I loved the imagery here, and it's got the right mixture of literariness and irreverence that makes a fun drabble. My only (slight) issue was that the narrative voice wasn't consistent (Oh crap, a nosebleed!). That's all really - I love the language everywhere else, from "object of my affections" to "mocking message", this is brilliant stuff.
Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.

You're always the hero in your own story - life is about not being the villain in anyone else's.

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