Caveat Emptor

100 word stories. Post all you like, maybe we'll dip in and use yours?
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lbonanomi
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Posts: 10
Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2012 3:49 am

Caveat Emptor

Post by lbonanomi » Sun Mar 31, 2013 4:13 pm

Dear NGA Inc,

I am writing regarding my Never Go Alone™ service. Despite your advertised claims that Never Go Alone™ would provide a solo agent with constant, stimulating companionship at no additional mass I find myself alone with my cargo and a dwindling supply of your knockoff chlorpromazine. 72 hours after installation the schizophrenia manifested as promised, but only as a constant stream of abuse and vicious suggestions. Its just *awful* that your company preys on the loneliness of intrastellar hauling. I demand a full refund and written apology if I reach the Kupier belt alive and sane.

Yours,
lbonanomi
Go 'pods.

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strawman
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Posts: 5966
Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2007 2:20 pm
Location: South Georgia

Re: Caveat Emptor

Post by strawman » Sun Mar 31, 2013 6:56 pm

Dear Mr. lbonanomi,

Due to an error in our shipping department, you received a dose that had been mixed and matched for your ex-wife. We caught the error and tried to notify you, but could only leave messages on your answering machine, as TMobile service is notoriously unreliable in the Kupier Belt (as everyone knows).

Unfortunately, the Never Go Alone Division was Acquired in the Goth/Regoth Embroilment of 4217, at which time our Chairman was recycled, resulting in no effective recourse available in such as your instance specifically.

But if you should make it to the Kupier Belt, through our moat mazes and assorted defenses, we would be happy to welcome you for a spot of tea.

Cheers.

NGA, Inc.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

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