The Last General

100 word stories. Post all you like, maybe we'll dip in and use yours?
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Varda
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The Last General

Post by Varda » Mon May 06, 2013 9:50 pm

“Rodgers, stand down!” I commanded.

Behind his gun, Rodgers sneered. An army of clones swarmed behind him. “Screw that. I don’t take orders anymore. The universe is mine. Surrender.”

I touched my insignia. Meaningless. I’d lost my whole army fighting Rodgers. “The clone multiplication’s destabilized the universe. Your rebellion’s destroying it. We won’t survive the next radioactive shockwave.”

“You’re bluffing.” Rodgers took aim. “Die.”

The universe spoke. Its booming voice threw us to our knees: One more round of chemo. Then the marrow transplant.

I understood. For the universe’s sake, the faithful and corrupt must perish alike. “Rodgers. Please... proceed.”
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strawman
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Re: The Last General

Post by strawman » Tue May 07, 2013 1:15 am

I like the minimalist perspective. But I fear they never understand, for they have no Kipling.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

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Varda
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Re: The Last General

Post by Varda » Tue May 07, 2013 3:51 am

Hmm, I think you're right. I had to cut a lot to reach 100 words, and was worried I'd lost the punchline in the process. This little story's going to be a present for a friend with leukemia, in honor of her bone marrow transplant in a couple weeks. Not sure how to communicate "leukemia" without putting it in the title. Maybe I should just expand it to short story length, and give the General the send-off he deserves. :D
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chemistryguy
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Re: The Last General

Post by chemistryguy » Tue May 07, 2013 2:28 pm

I got it first time. Kudos to you. I've tried starting writing something for my daughter a few times, but came up short.

Good luck to your friend.

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strawman
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Re: The Last General

Post by strawman » Tue May 07, 2013 5:38 pm

I got it too. What I meant was the cells don't get it. But I would like them to have a Kipling to write Charge of the Light Brigade. Or would that be White Brigade?
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

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Varda
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Re: The Last General

Post by Varda » Tue May 07, 2013 11:56 pm

strawman wrote:Or would that be White Brigade?
HA! Pure genius!! I bow to your clever wit, good sir. I may very well have to steal that title when I give this to my friend!

I think the poet you're looking for is Tennyson. Unless you mean this Kipling poem? I was surprised to learn that Kipling wrote a send-up of the Light Brigade as well. Didn't know it existed until I Googled it just now.
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strawman
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Re: The Last General

Post by strawman » Wed May 08, 2013 2:00 am

Uh. Yeah. That's what I meant! :oops:
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

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Varda
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Re: The Last General

Post by Varda » Tue Nov 05, 2013 2:47 am

The wonderful, dear friend I wrote this for was pronounced cancer-free today. Die, Rodgers! :)
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J_Kyle
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Re: The Last General

Post by J_Kyle » Tue Nov 05, 2013 1:29 pm

Awesome story, and awesome news for your friend!

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