Swear to Gods (Lovecraftian Theme)

100 word stories. Post all you like, maybe we'll dip in and use yours?
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MonsieurMoustache
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Swear to Gods (Lovecraftian Theme)

Post by MonsieurMoustache » Sun Jun 16, 2013 4:47 am

In the gap between injury and pain, Joe had only a single thought : that the usual profanity was just not going to cut it. Clutching his stubbed toe, Joe opened his mouth and let the pain pick the consonants as he vented his agony.

“SMUGGNAGRUGGNAARRGHADHDA-JJJJIIIISSSSTTTTTTAFRIGGINAARRRGLE!” he babbled incoherently while hopping up and down.

With so much irresponsible spouting of nonsense and careless dancing in modern times, it was inevitable that someone stumble upon the correct incantation and ritual to summon the Great Dark Ones.

The pain of his toe was immediately forgotten when a mile-long foot stepped on Joe.


_____


I'd love some feedback on this one! Thanks to everyone who comments on my drabbles. EDIT: Fixed word count.

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strawman
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Re: Swear to Gods (Lovecraftian Theme)

Post by strawman » Sun Jun 16, 2013 12:30 pm

Appealing premise, M'sieur.

I can't help but think that a mile-long foot is pretty out of the box.

This leads me to wonder if there is also a metric incantation for a kilometer long foot, or one for 5,280 feet.

Considering it along those lines, there must be an infinite number of things that might be evoked from various incantations.

Logically, one proceeds to the question of whether there is anything one might say that wouldn't incant one of those infinite consequences.

I've just about convinced myself that shouting "Ouch!" causes me to hit my finger with a hammer.

Voila. Regardez ce que vous avez fait.
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Varda
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Re: Swear to Gods (Lovecraftian Theme)

Post by Varda » Sun Jun 16, 2013 6:48 pm

I definitely tried to pick out the Cthulu chant from those syllables! Like the parallelism of stubbing your toe and then getting squashed by a giant foot. Hope that giant foot got stubbed too, and we'll have a summoning-gods-stubbing-toes cycle on our hands. There goes the neighborhood!
strawman wrote:Voila. Regardez ce que vous avez fait.
Strawman: I can't imagine what it'd be like to run into you away from Google Translate. What ancient horror does this one summon?
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Re: Swear to Gods (Lovecraftian Theme)

Post by MonsieurMoustache » Sun Jun 16, 2013 9:30 pm

Varda wrote:I definitely tried to pick out the Cthulu chant from those syllables! Like the parallelism of stubbing your toe and then getting squashed by a giant foot. Hope that giant foot got stubbed too, and we'll have a summoning-gods-stubbing-toes cycle on our hands. There goes the neighborhood!
strawman wrote:Voila. Regardez ce que vous avez fait.
Strawman: I can't imagine what it'd be like to run into you away from Google Translate. What ancient horror does this one summon?


That was my original ending to the drabble, actually, but somehow it felt done at mile-long foot. But I can imagine the neighbourhood would be the least of it. If gods of gods are progressively bigger...I suspect teh Earth itself would be a lego block in the foot of some entity...

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Re: Swear to Gods (Lovecraftian Theme)

Post by strawman » Sun Jun 16, 2013 9:41 pm

I forgot to mention you need to imagine Oliver Hardy saying it.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

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Re: Swear to Gods (Lovecraftian Theme)

Post by MonsieurMoustache » Mon Jun 17, 2013 12:58 am

strawman wrote:Appealing premise, M'sieur.

I can't help but think that a mile-long foot is pretty out of the box.

This leads me to wonder if there is also a metric incantation for a kilometer long foot, or one for 5,280 feet.

Considering it along those lines, there must be an infinite number of things that might be evoked from various incantations.

Logically, one proceeds to the question of whether there is anything one might say that wouldn't incant one of those infinite consequences.

I've just about convinced myself that shouting "Ouch!" causes me to hit my finger with a hammer.

Voila. Regardez ce que vous avez fait.
When you think about it, any number of harmless phrases could be having catastrophic consequences on the universe. Perhaps saying "I'd fancy a walk to the seven-eleven" causes the second coming of some great celestial menace on some distant galaxy. Perhaps the reason no alien life has made contact is because we've wiped them all out with desires to stretch our legs and pick up a slurpee. Perhaps saying "I do!" causes every member of a distant race to spontaneously turn purple. The universe works in mysterious ways...marriages also.

As for hammers, I believe them to have been on the receiving end of so much malice and distrust that they have developed a semi-sapient psychic field. Saying 'ouch' around them makes them feel they missed an opportunity of some sort, and they quickly compensate.

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Re: Swear to Gods (Lovecraftian Theme)

Post by Varda » Mon Jun 17, 2013 3:21 am

MonsieurMoustache wrote:When you think about it, any number of harmless phrases could be having catastrophic consequences on the universe. Perhaps saying "I'd fancy a walk to the seven-eleven" causes the second coming of some great celestial menace on some distant galaxy. Perhaps the reason no alien life has made contact is because we've wiped them all out with desires to stretch our legs and pick up a slurpee. Perhaps saying "I do!" causes every member of a distant race to spontaneously turn purple. The universe works in mysterious ways...marriages also.

As for hammers, I believe them to have been on the receiving end of so much malice and distrust that they have developed a semi-sapient psychic field. Saying 'ouch' around them makes them feel they missed an opportunity of some sort, and they quickly compensate.
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Re: Swear to Gods (Lovecraftian Theme)

Post by MonsieurMoustache » Mon Jun 17, 2013 3:14 pm

Varda wrote:
MonsieurMoustache wrote:When you think about it, any number of harmless phrases could be having catastrophic consequences on the universe. Perhaps saying "I'd fancy a walk to the seven-eleven" causes the second coming of some great celestial menace on some distant galaxy. Perhaps the reason no alien life has made contact is because we've wiped them all out with desires to stretch our legs and pick up a slurpee. Perhaps saying "I do!" causes every member of a distant race to spontaneously turn purple. The universe works in mysterious ways...marriages also.

As for hammers, I believe them to have been on the receiving end of so much malice and distrust that they have developed a semi-sapient psychic field. Saying 'ouch' around them makes them feel they missed an opportunity of some sort, and they quickly compensate.
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Re: Swear to Gods (Lovecraftian Theme)

Post by Flintknapper » Mon Jun 17, 2013 3:39 pm

ah... so now we are mocking Mr. Lovecraft eh?

actually this one worked for me. It sounds just like the sort of thing, I would hear during lovecraft month. :D

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Re: Swear to Gods (Lovecraftian Theme)

Post by MonsieurMoustache » Thu Jun 20, 2013 2:20 pm

Flintknapper wrote:ah... so now we are mocking Mr. Lovecraft eh?

actually this one worked for me. It sounds just like the sort of thing, I would hear during lovecraft month. :D
Cross my fingers! There's a lot of stiff competition for Lovecraft; some of the best drabbles are done in his name!

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Re: Swear to Gods (Lovecraftian Theme)

Post by PhineasQP » Fri Jun 21, 2013 12:10 am

Pretty great stuff. :)
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