Knock (Lovecraft)

100 word stories. Post all you like, maybe we'll dip in and use yours?
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DoctorBanzai
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Knock (Lovecraft)

Post by DoctorBanzai » Tue Jun 25, 2013 10:24 pm

I watched as the girl passed from house to house, pounding on one door after another. She repeated the same panicked process at each stop: several pounding knocks, a wait of ten seconds, a glance back the way she had come, then, quickly to the next door. At each interval, she called out for help; entreating whomever may have been inside for access.

I looked up the road, in the direction from which she fled, seeing only the encroaching darkness.

Back at my window, she had vanished from sight. Then the knocking came from my door, accompanying her muffled words.

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strawman
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Re: Knock (Lovecraft)

Post by strawman » Tue Jun 25, 2013 11:52 pm

Do not wonder for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for thee.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
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chemistryguy
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Re: Knock (Lovecraft)

Post by chemistryguy » Wed Jun 26, 2013 7:18 pm

The first Lovecraftian drabble to give me the chills. Well done Dr. B.

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Flintknapper
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Re: Knock (Lovecraft)

Post by Flintknapper » Wed Jun 26, 2013 9:34 pm

This is a great drabble. It succeeds in being both horrific as well as a moral dilemma that is left unresolved. Does he open the door? I would think not, but it really places the reader in the position of what they would do. As the girl is running down the street going from house to house, you can almost feel him wishing someone else would open up and that it would be someone else's problem, but it doesn't happen. Did others hear the woman scream and then choose not to respond? Now, it is his problem and only his own moral compass to guide his actions. Loved it.

The problem becomes, is the story lovecraftian themed? Maybe or maybe not. It does not share lovecraft's writing style or his monsters with tentacles. There is no mention of an elder god nor does the narrator come upon some bit of arcane knowledge. However, at the heart of Lovecraft's stories is the fear of the unknown and this story captures that fear better than most I have read.

Kudos Banzai, I think of all the drabbles you have submitted this is by far and away my favorite. I hope they use this one on the show someday.

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Re: Knock (Lovecraft)

Post by DoctorBanzai » Wed Jun 26, 2013 10:10 pm

Wow!

Thank you for the awesome review, Flintknapper, you have no idea how wonderful I feel having just read that. In fact, I've read it twice just to be sure. I appreciate your taking the time to not only read my Drabble, but to post your thoughts towards it. It's feedback like this that totally make it worth while.

I set this as a Lovecraft theme, not due to the relation to perhaps some of his better known devices, but simply due, as you indicate, to that unknown fear that permeates much, if not all, of his tales, and I'm excited that it worked.

Thank you so much.

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munsi
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Re: Knock (Lovecraft)

Post by munsi » Fri Jul 05, 2013 6:59 am

oh my. VERY creepy. how'd i miss this for so long, i quite liked it :D

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ROU Killing Time
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Re: Knock (Lovecraft)

Post by ROU Killing Time » Fri Jul 05, 2013 3:48 pm

munsi wrote:oh my. VERY creepy. how'd i miss this for so long, i quite liked it :D
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MonsieurMoustache
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Re: Knock (Lovecraft)

Post by MonsieurMoustache » Sat Jul 06, 2013 9:02 pm

Simple, and it ends not with a punchline, but with an unasked question. Totally re-written what it means to be a strong drabble for me.

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Flintknapper
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Re: Knock (Lovecraft)

Post by Flintknapper » Fri Sep 06, 2013 3:59 pm

You know I was just driving to work this morning, listening to the drabblecast and I hear a familiar drabble on the podcast. Congrats Dr. Banzai! This is still one of my favorites. I am glad this was picked up for publishing.

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Varda
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Re: Knock (Lovecraft)

Post by Varda » Fri Sep 06, 2013 10:07 pm

I second the praise! :-)

And Monsieur, your new avatar is outrageous! Is it just me, or was it winking at me the other day? Did you draw it?
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strawman
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Re: Knock (Lovecraft)

Post by strawman » Sat Sep 07, 2013 2:07 pm

Beatrice looked up through her bangs at Varda. "Here's looking at you, kid."
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

DoctorBanzai
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Re: Knock (Lovecraft)

Post by DoctorBanzai » Sat Sep 07, 2013 7:58 pm

Flintknapper wrote:You know I was just driving to work this morning, listening to the drabblecast and I hear a familiar drabble on the podcast. Congrats Dr. Banzai! This is still one of my favorites. I am glad this was picked up for publishing.

Thank you, Flintknapper. I was sure excited. I think Norm did a great read of it. It gave me goosebumps to listen to it.

Now, if it wins drabble of the year....

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gunsofchekhovia
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Re: Knock (Lovecraft)

Post by gunsofchekhovia » Tue Sep 10, 2013 4:31 am

Agree with what everyone else said. A wonderful little slice of horror. Congratulations on getting it on the show, and thank you for sharing it.

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