Run To The Roof

100 word stories. Post all you like, maybe we'll dip in and use yours?
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DoctorBanzai
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Run To The Roof

Post by DoctorBanzai » Fri Jun 28, 2013 2:55 pm

Samantha stepped back from the edge of the building, still quivering with the adrenaline that had dumped into her system minutes before. As the rush wore off she began to feel the sharp edges of pain in her muscles.

The run up the stairs had been intense; hallways filled with darkness; shattered glass crunching beneath her feet, she hadn’t known where she was, or how far she’d come. When she hit the door at the end of the last rise, blinking in the sudden glare, she felt relief.

Moving across the roof, she’d looked for the others. They’d already fallen.

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Flintknapper
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Re: Run To The Roof

Post by Flintknapper » Fri Jun 28, 2013 8:36 pm

Cool imagery. It kind of reminds me of the happening by M. Shalyman (I am probably misspelling his name, but you know which one I am talking about). At first I was going to suggest you right a prequel telling how it happened, but that movie was good right up until they started to try to explain it and then it fell apart for me. So, I would leave this as a stand alone piece. Right now it is creepy and unexplainable and perhaps that is all it should ever be.

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Varda
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Re: Run To The Roof

Post by Varda » Fri Jun 28, 2013 11:03 pm

Good job capturing that whole anxious running-from-something feeling, especially the bit about how your muscles feel when the adrenaline wears off. I also like the ambiguity of the last line: were they "fallen" in the sense of falling off the roof, or "fallen" in the sense of dead on the roof? Neither good things, but with hugely different implications. Anything that makes jumping off a roof look like a good idea is really freakin' scary.

Maybe the prequel is the girl pounding on the doors in your recent Lovecraft Drabble? Hmm...
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PhineasQP
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Re: Run To The Roof

Post by PhineasQP » Sat Jun 29, 2013 10:22 pm

A tale told so well I don't really care that I have no idea what's going on.
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DoctorBanzai
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Re: Run To The Roof

Post by DoctorBanzai » Mon Jul 01, 2013 12:56 am

Thank you, everyone.

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