My Dog is an Alien

100 word stories. Post all you like, maybe we'll dip in and use yours?
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MonsieurMoustache
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My Dog is an Alien

Post by MonsieurMoustache » Sat Jun 29, 2013 11:45 pm

It turns out my dog Rover is actually a super galactic space invader, and not a purebred Malamute after all. He was sent to Earth to determine if our species is fit for domestication and sale as zoological curiosities in the Andromedian Nebula’s seedier souvenir shops.

In an effort to save all humanity, I hired masseuses skilled in the art of belly-rubbing and cooked from an all cat menu.

All in vain.

The invasion had been cancelled years ago by the Grande Grrrbarkle. Humanity had Courtney Sweete, her ten credit cards and a heated handbag to thank for its survival.

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Re: My Dog is an Alien

Post by Varda » Sun Jun 30, 2013 4:07 am

I love stories that use nonviolent solutions in a creative way. Although I'd imagine that a report on humanity's dog-massaging skills would only raise their value in the galactic souvenir shop. Maybe the moral is that you should always bribe those government employees: if he never wants to leave Earth to file his report, then problem solved!
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Re: My Dog is an Alien

Post by MonsieurMoustache » Tue Jul 02, 2013 1:48 am

Varda wrote:I love stories that use nonviolent solutions in a creative way. Although I'd imagine that a report on humanity's dog-massaging skills would only raise their value in the galactic souvenir shop. Maybe the moral is that you should always bribe those government employees: if he never wants to leave Earth to file his report, then problem solved!

Now that you mention it - massage and cooking skills would be great reasons to enslave humanity. Silly protagonist didn't think of that...(cough leave the author out of it cough). How many would-be invaders are kept placid by the government, you think?

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Re: My Dog is an Alien

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Tue Jul 02, 2013 2:05 am

MonsieurMoustache wrote:How many would-be invaders are kept placid by the government, you think?
Have you seen Congress lately?! I'm guessing at least 500.

Oh, cute drabble too. ;) But it's only 98 words. Hyphenated words, like "all-cat" are counted as one word by publishers (pay by the word), but some editing programs still get it wrong.

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Re: My Dog is an Alien

Post by MonsieurMoustache » Tue Jul 02, 2013 2:21 am

Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote:
MonsieurMoustache wrote:How many would-be invaders are kept placid by the government, you think?
Have you seen Congress lately?! I'm guessing at least 500.

Oh, cute drabble too. ;) But it's only 98 words. Hyphenated words, like "all-cat" are counted as one word by publishers (pay by the word), but some editing programs still get it wrong.
Ah! But I've been using hyphens this whole time! This must mean every drabble is off! Curses and tarnation!
Thanks for the tip, I've taken out the hyphen and added an extra word. Where can I go to write drabbles, now that I know Pages can't count?

Indeed, I think you'd have to be an alien interested in destroying civilization to want to join Congress. It's the only motive I can think of for going into politics.

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Re: My Dog is an Alien

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Tue Jul 02, 2013 3:06 am

MonsieurMoustache wrote:Curses and tarnation! ...
Where can I go to write drabbles, now that I know Pages can't count?
Dunno. I use macros on my programming editors to double-check length.
There have been attempts to draft me into writing one, but they petered out and I don't write many drabbles myself.

I suppose, if we could figure out some sort of donation drive, I might go ahead and make one (shouldn't take long). Say, ten users donate at least $10 (each, on average) to Drabblecast?

The project's on my "Rainy day list" anyway. Currently it's at position 230 out of 551.

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Re: My Dog is an Alien

Post by Varda » Tue Jul 02, 2013 3:18 am

I use Google Docs to word-count. It's always been spot on, and it's freeeeee. :)
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Re: My Dog is an Alien

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Tue Jul 02, 2013 3:41 am

Varda wrote:I use Google Docs to word-count. It's always been spot on, and it's freeeeee. :)
No, it miscounts hyphenated words and Microsoft's %$#@! illegal characters. There was another case where it is wrong but I can't remember the details, off the top of my head.

Also, do you really want your drabbles (and everything else) subject to political scrutiny via the NSA-industrial complex*?
Now she's writing about a woman using some kind of biological warfare on her "son"!
8)


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Re: My Dog is an Alien

Post by Varda » Tue Jul 02, 2013 3:51 am

Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote:No, it miscounts hyphenated words and Microsoft's %$#@! illegal characters. There was another case where it is wrong but I can't remember the details, off the top of my head.
It's always counted my hyphenated words correctly, at least to my knowledge. Either that, or no one's called me out on my consistently wrong word counts. :oops:
Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote:
Varda wrote:Also, do you really want your drabbles (and everything else) subject to political scrutiny via the NSA-industrial complex*?
Now she's writing about a woman using some kind of biological warfare on her "son"!
8)


* All dirt, All the time, All citizens... We can NIC that for you!
:lol: :lol:
...maybe I *want* them to read my Drabbles! Psychological warfare, ASID. Not that my drabbles are any safer publicly posted on this forum. I have my suspicions about who exactly all these lurking "guests" are, but I think the next person who registers should grab the NSA handle while it's free. Or before I do. :mrgreen:
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Re: My Dog is an Alien

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Tue Jul 02, 2013 4:33 am

Varda wrote:Either that, or no one's called me out on my consistently wrong word counts. :oops:
I don't infest the drabble sub-forum as much as some others. And I've noticed that even though I'm doing a favor by pointing out glitches, there is somewhat less gratitude than my model predicts, when I point out count discrepancies. :roll:

I'll be happy to do a count analysis, on your posted drabbles, for a modest fee. :P

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Re: My Dog is an Alien

Post by MonsieurMoustache » Tue Jul 02, 2013 6:24 am

Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote:
Varda wrote:I use Google Docs to word-count. It's always been spot on, and it's freeeeee. :)
No, it miscounts hyphenated words and Microsoft's %$#@! illegal characters. There was another case where it is wrong but I can't remember the details, off the top of my head.!
8)

Here's a site a found via Google : http://www.wordcounter.net/ It said belly-rubbing was one word, as was death-defying and mimble-wimble. So the important words work.

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Re: My Dog is an Alien

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Tue Jul 02, 2013 6:47 am

You'll note that it mistakenly says that the current form of your drabble is 101 words.

This is because it doesn't handle the (not-so) "smart" apostrophe in "Nebula’s". It no-doubt botches the rest of the "smart" characters and the characters that Micrcrap Office uses.

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Re: My Dog is an Alien

Post by MonsieurMoustache » Tue Jul 02, 2013 7:18 am

Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote:You'll note that it mistakenly says that the current form of your drabble is 101 words.

This is because it doesn't handle the (not-so) "smart" apostrophe in "Nebula’s". It no-doubt botches the rest of the "smart" characters and the characters that Micrcrap Office uses.
By Baldur's beard, it is so! Although strangely, when I go back, eliminate the apostrophe and then retype it, it reverts to 100 words...weird. Here's another I found that gave the score of 100 words. Strange how much it differs from tool to tool.

http://www.wordcountertool.com/

And for the record, thanks for letting me know about the incorrect word count. Sorry to hear others have been less than grateful.

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Re: My Dog is an Alien

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Tue Jul 02, 2013 7:45 am

That tool might cut the mustard. I'll give it the acid test if/before I roll my own counter.

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Re: My Dog is an Alien

Post by secretnude » Sun Dec 08, 2013 7:34 am

An Alien Dog, is in a bog, sniffing fallen logs for chemical traces and simply braces itself for detection and attention from a government guy who may be a spy.
Who knows why the shape shifters are here and really does fear the coming apocalyptic year.
When they land and replace all our pets, and all our bets will soon be off.
So let us face the apocalypse with a brace on all our structures and prepare all our sutures for the coming bite.
And fight once the aliens do take flight and hide in plain sight in the night.
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Re: My Dog is an Alien

Post by MonsieurMoustache » Tue Dec 10, 2013 4:44 am

secretnude wrote:An Alien Dog, is in a bog, sniffing fallen logs for chemical traces and simply braces itself for detection and attention from a government guy who may be a spy.
Who knows why the shape shifters are here and really does fear the coming apocalyptic year.
When they land and replace all our pets, and all our bets will soon be off.
So let us face the apocalypse with a brace on all our structures and prepare all our sutures for the coming bite.
And fight once the aliens do take flight and hide in plain sight in the night.
Well, I have to say, that's a baffling notion; Only bettered by the idea of a frozen ocean; such a reply is as odd as cartwheeling crabs; that's not meant as poison stab; only that I like apocalypses and the like; I hope to see more from you, Mike.

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Re: My Dog is an Alien

Post by tbaker2500 » Tue Jul 08, 2014 3:25 am

You're my quasi-ichthian angel, you're my half-amphibian queen...

The Dribblecast, we don't care if you sound like an idiot.

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Re: My Dog is an Alien

Post by MonsieurMoustache » Sat Sep 20, 2014 11:56 pm

WAIT... this was on the dribblecast? I had no idea! Clearly I need to catch up. It sounded great. Thanks so much for producing it!

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Re: My Dog is an Alien

Post by tbaker2500 » Fri Sep 26, 2014 5:28 am

It was Tibbi who did it- she does a great job!
You're my quasi-ichthian angel, you're my half-amphibian queen...

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Re: My Dog is an Alien

Post by SpareInch » Fri Sep 26, 2014 9:43 am

Don't drink coffee, I drink mud, My Dear.
Eat old food right off the sidewalk.
You can tell me by the way I bark.
I'm a Malamute in New York.

Oh-Oh.
I'm an alien.
I'm a canine alien.
I'm a Malamute in New York!------

OK, so it's not very good, but I just can't get Sting out of my head every time I see this drabble.
The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.

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