Bus Stop

100 word stories. Post all you like, maybe we'll dip in and use yours?
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DoctorBanzai
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Bus Stop

Post by DoctorBanzai » Wed Jul 10, 2013 10:36 pm

It was when I was waiting for the afternoon bus that I first saw her. She had just turned the corner as the bus pulled to the stop, and I was frozen. A gentle breeze blew her long, light brown hair off her shoulders and down her back.

She was a dream come true, the woman on the street; I found myself drawn to her. Her beauty was accented by her confident stride. She approached the idling bus, quickly; not rushing. As she stepped to the door she drew her hand from her pocket and began with shooting the driver.

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Varda
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Re: Bus Stop

Post by Varda » Wed Jul 10, 2013 11:58 pm

:shock: Oh wow. Talk about a bait-and-switch ending! Loved this Drabble, Dr. B: a genre mashup if ever I saw one.

My feminist side also likes the subversiveness of having a narrator caught up in defining a woman in terms of her beauty and how well she fulfills his personal ideals, and then the twist showing that the woman's not there to fulfill his dreams at all. :twisted: Bravo.
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DoctorBanzai
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Re: Bus Stop

Post by DoctorBanzai » Thu Jul 11, 2013 5:14 am

Thank you, as always.

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chemistryguy
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Re: Bus Stop

Post by chemistryguy » Fri Jul 12, 2013 6:03 pm

Wow. Got me.

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