Curses, Follicled Again! [Moustache Mythos]

100 word stories. Post all you like, maybe we'll dip in and use yours?
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Varda
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Curses, Follicled Again! [Moustache Mythos]

Post by Varda » Wed Sep 04, 2013 2:59 am

Outside the pub, I’ve found it: the spaceship. Double-parked in a handicap space.

And the device? Resting on the dashboard.

Waiting.

For me.

My moustache erupts into wuffles. <<It can’t be…!>>

I flick the device’s silver switch and whirling blades churn to life.

<<The Razor of Wyattearp! Bane of Beards! Mower of Moustaches! Built from the beak of the Great Woolly Squid Itself!>> Beatrice flattens as I raise the weapon. <<Wait, you wouldn’t…? Foolish woman, you’ll be killed too!>>

I close my eyes and picture the pub. Not a razor, I think, just a pint of stout. Cheers, my friend.
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Flintknapper
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Re: Curses, Follicled Again! [Moustache Mythos]

Post by Flintknapper » Wed Sep 04, 2013 8:00 pm

lol. Now there are sacred weapons. Poor Beatrice. She is just misunderstood.

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strawman
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Re: Curses, Follicled Again! [Moustache Mythos]

Post by strawman » Wed Sep 04, 2013 8:20 pm

But she was a loud drunk.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
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gunsofchekhovia
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Re: Curses, Follicled Again! [Moustache Mythos]

Post by gunsofchekhovia » Thu Sep 05, 2013 3:42 am

I am so terribly confused by the Moustache Mythos. But this was great.

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Varda
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Re: Curses, Follicled Again! [Moustache Mythos]

Post by Varda » Thu Sep 05, 2013 9:08 pm

gunsofchekhovia wrote:I am so terribly confused by the Moustache Mythos. But this was great.
Yeah, it helps if you read them in order. We've all been kinda building off one another, but it's getting quite convoluted. Try these:

viewtopic.php?f=10&t=4933
viewtopic.php?f=10&t=4934
viewtopic.php?f=10&t=4935
viewtopic.php?f=10&t=4942
viewtopic.php?f=10&t=4943
viewtopic.php?f=10&t=4941

And there are more. At some point we started tagging 'em "Moustache Mythos" to keep 'em straight.
strawman wrote:But she was a loud drunk.
I have to wonder, are moustaches captive audiences when it comes to alcohol consumption? Forcibly dunked into your stein every time? This might explain a lot about Beatrice...
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Re: Curses, Follicled Again! [Moustache Mythos]

Post by strawman » Thu Sep 05, 2013 10:23 pm

Varda wrote:
strawman wrote:But she was a loud drunk.
I have to wonder, are moustaches captive audiences when it comes to alcohol consumption? Forcibly dunked into your stein every time? This might explain a lot about Beatrice...
You need to be careful. Neglect and abuse is story of every alcoholic, indeed, most felons I've known. While it is a mitigating circumstance, imagine what would happen if some body parts could be set free while others are held responsible for crimes. ["True, Mr. Eye, it was Mr. Finger who fired the gun. But who AIMED it?" "NOT ME! I'm a leftie! I was closed!"]

Beatrice may have been hauled into bars since she was a wee shaver. Monsieur may have dunked her, trimmed her, chewed on her, and/or licked her. She may even have been forced to lift her skirts and make out with other women. (In fact, I anticipate the tawdry details will continue to unfold here. I understand there is talk of a Beatrice video chat line.)

Just remember, it is those of you who are addicted to such filth that are truly responsible for taking Beatrice's innocence.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

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Varda
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Re: Curses, Follicled Again! [Moustache Mythos]

Post by Varda » Fri Sep 06, 2013 2:37 am

strawman wrote: While it is a mitigating circumstance, imagine what would happen if some body parts could be set free while others are held responsible for crimes. ["True, Mr. Eye, it was Mr. Finger who fired the gun. But who AIMED it?" "NOT ME! I'm a leftie! I was closed!"]
That is totally the Multicellularity Defense! I see they've been hiring my lawyer.
strawman wrote:Monsieur may have dunked her, trimmed her, chewed on her, and/or licked her. She may even have been forced to lift her skirts and make out with other women.
Egads! Dare I kiss my husband? What if his poor moustache is being held against her will? Being forced into woman-on-moustache action?

(...But I think the skirt-lifting would happen the other way around. :oops:)
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