Who's Going to Pay for That? (Tourism/Most Irritating Thing)

100 word stories. Post all you like, maybe we'll dip in and use yours?
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gunsofchekhovia
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Who's Going to Pay for That? (Tourism/Most Irritating Thing)

Post by gunsofchekhovia » Thu Sep 12, 2013 4:06 am

I wish I had been a vacuum miner like my third father. I hate this tourism job.

“Welcome to Earth,” I say. “Those bipedaling things are humans.”

I look at Kpppphtran'il, the caretaker for this sector and the highlight of my cycle. I am admiring her bulging diplopods when I hear an Earthly scream.

“PUT. THAT. DOWN,” I say. The rich brat drops the human torso from which he has just clipped off all four extrusions. “Now, moving on. The humans are a useless race. Truly, their only notable scientific discovery is a delicious foodstuff they call a 'Big Mac.'”

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Varda
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Re: Who's Going to Pay for That? (Tourism/Most Irritating Th

Post by Varda » Thu Sep 12, 2013 2:11 pm

You brought the Big Mac back! I suppose this means it really IS an Earth invention, and not some alien horror? Ah, well... leave it to humanity to call forth such an abomination. ;-)

Love the language of this piece, particularly "bipedaling" and "extrusions" to describe our funky limbs. Poor, poor guy at the end. Definitely has a humor/horror vibe, which is the intersection where I live. :wink:
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chemistryguy
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Re: Who's Going to Pay for That? (Tourism/Most Irritating Th

Post by chemistryguy » Thu Sep 12, 2013 3:54 pm

You had a lot of fun with this one. I like it :D

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strawman
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Re: Who's Going to Pay for That? (Tourism/Most Irritating Th

Post by strawman » Thu Sep 12, 2013 4:01 pm

Mmmmmmmm.
Bulging diplopods!
Did anyone else need to take a cold shower?
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

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gunsofchekhovia
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Re: Who's Going to Pay for That? (Tourism/Most Irritating Th

Post by gunsofchekhovia » Thu Sep 12, 2013 5:40 pm

Thank you, folks!

Varda, I did call it a "discovery" rather than an "invention." But it does seem to only afflict Earth... for now. I'm glad you enjoyed my word choice. I originally called the humans "those little bipedal things bipedaling around," but I had to sacrifice most of that to get it into 100 words.

chemistryguy, I sure did. Writing this one was all fun. I'm glad that came through in the reading.

strawman, Just wait 'til you get a look at what's under that exoskeleton.

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