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One Size Fits All (Journal Theme)

Posted: Sat Sep 14, 2013 12:43 am
by Varda
Annabelle, you loved my crooked nose. Said it gave me character. They asked me about it when I arrived. You’d like it here. The future’s friendly. Hospitable. Clean.

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They’ve given me clothes to wear. Cut my hair. Tomorrow we're going to the Factory.

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Annabelle, they’re modular men! Replacement parts manufactured fresh: livers, lungs, ligaments. Instant immortality!

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Annabelle, they’re angry. It’s my height: three inches over standard. New femurs should do the trick.

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Upgrading.

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Upgrading.

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Upgrading.

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Annabelle, you wouldn’t know me now. One production line, one face. Interchangeable. No one mentions my nose anymore. They don’t notice me much at all.


Edited 9/13/13 - minor wording changes.

Re: One Size Fits All (Journal Theme)

Posted: Sat Sep 14, 2013 4:45 am
by gunsofchekhovia
I keep telling myself that an army of identical modular men is what should be scary about this, but I don't believe it. What is really chilling is that the narrator is conscious of his/her loss of identity.

I like the title as well. It's not really a story about fashion, is it? But it is a story about the same mindset that drives fashion. Imitation of individuality eventually destroys it; pursuit of perfection breeds boredom.

Brilliant.

Re: One Size Fits All (Journal Theme)

Posted: Sat Sep 14, 2013 10:24 am
by Varda
Thanks, Guns! Nah, not just about fashion (although I can definitely see that theme on a reread!). Glad the horror element came across. I wanted to write about the dissolving of a character's identity, which sure is tricksy to do in 100 words!

Re: One Size Fits All (Journal Theme)

Posted: Sat Sep 14, 2013 8:30 pm
by Cwpants
I loved this story! I really enjoyed the alliteration. So poetic!

I am sure this wasn't your intent, but I enjoyed imagining the man was a time traveling Edgar Allen Poe, with his unruly hair and crooked nose, writing to his beloved Annabelle Lee. But he was only 5 ft 8 :)

Thanks for sharing!

Re: One Size Fits All (Journal Theme)

Posted: Sat Sep 14, 2013 11:44 pm
by Varda
Cwpants wrote:I loved this story! I really enjoyed the alliteration. So poetic!

I am sure this wasn't your intent, but I enjoyed imagining the man was a time traveling Edgar Allen Poe, with his unruly hair and crooked nose, writing to his beloved Annabelle Lee. But he was only 5 ft 8 :)

Thanks for sharing!
Oh boy. I heart the idea of time-traveling EAP. Sorta in that genre with "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter" and "Bubba Ho-Tep" of historical characters being inexplicably awesome.

Hope I didn't go overboard with the alliteration. I'm working on another (longer) flash piece that uses brain-melting amounts of alliteration as a conceit of the story, and I'm afraid it's contaminating everything I'm writing right now. :shock:

Re: One Size Fits All (Journal Theme)

Posted: Wed Sep 18, 2013 2:12 pm
by chemistryguy
Wow. You packed a punch with only 100 words. Well done.

Re: One Size Fits All (Journal Theme)

Posted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 1:45 am
by Varda
chemistryguy wrote:Wow. You packed a punch with only 100 words. Well done.
Much obliged, Guy of Chemistry! :)

If anyone watches "Adventure Time", I took a lot of inspiration from that song that explains how the Ice King went crazy in the ruins of the world while trying to protect a little girl. Mainly, I liked the idea of writing a journal addressed to someone who will probably never read it. Dang if "Journal Theme" in 100 words ain't a challenge, though.

Re: One Size Fits All (Journal Theme)

Posted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 6:23 am
by MonsieurMoustache
One of your strongest yet! This is why I shouldn't vacation from the forums.

Re: One Size Fits All (Journal Theme)

Posted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 1:18 pm
by strawman
Yer right, Mr.M. 'Fore long we're gonna need to install a Stop sign down at the the intersection. :)

Re: One Size Fits All (Journal Theme)

Posted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 1:35 pm
by Varda
Pshaw! There are no stop signs on the Autobahn! :wink:

Re: One Size Fits All (Journal Theme)

Posted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 4:09 pm
by strawman
Varda wrote:Pshaw! There are no stop signs on the Autobahn! :wink:
I guess we better hope there aren't any intersections either!