Ask and You Shall Receive

100 word stories. Post all you like, maybe we'll dip in and use yours?
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will write for beer
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Location: San Antonio, TX

Ask and You Shall Receive

Post by will write for beer » Fri Feb 21, 2014 2:15 am

In the beginning, there was Me.

And I was good.

But I grew lonely.

So I made her.

And we were good.

But she grew bored.

“I need space,” she said. So I created the Heavens.

“I need time,” she said. So I set the stars in motion.

But it still wasn’t enough.

“I need more,” she cried. So I created the grass and the herb and the fruit.

“More,” she pleaded.

So I made the fish and the fowl and the cattle and the creeping things and the beasts and, finally, man.

And I set them loose upon her.
"Yeah they're dead. They're all messed up."
-- Sheriff McClelland

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gunsofchekhovia
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Re: Ask and You Shall Receive

Post by gunsofchekhovia » Fri Feb 21, 2014 2:36 am

Chills.

This is beautiful.

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will write for beer
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Re: Ask and You Shall Receive

Post by will write for beer » Fri Feb 21, 2014 2:46 am

thanks, guns. too bad i missed valentine's day...
"Yeah they're dead. They're all messed up."
-- Sheriff McClelland

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Varda
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Re: Ask and You Shall Receive

Post by Varda » Fri Feb 21, 2014 3:10 am

This is a GREAT drabble, WWFB. I enjoyed everything about it, especially the last bit where "man" gets created, and you have to reevaluate everything that's come before as it all falls into place.

I love how shamelessly romantic it was, too. I find in the world of microfiction that when people write about relationships, it all too often ends as a joke at someone's expense, or some corny cliche about gender stereotypes, but this played with those tropes and then elegantly subverted them. Masterful, beautiful, and original.

I wish I'd written it. :D

ETA: Maybe tag it with the "Aliens" theme. It's a bit of a stretch, but I think it might fit in nicely for "Women and Aliens Month" anyway. After all, "she" is hanging out there in space before she makes contact with Man. ;)
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jeetkuneluke
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Re: Ask and You Shall Receive

Post by jeetkuneluke » Fri Feb 21, 2014 8:40 pm

Wonderfully creepy. Best take on the Creator-mythology I've read in quite some time.

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