The Beer Wolf

Thomas Daulton · Post by **Thomas Daulton** » Thu Mar 27, 2014 5:01 am

The "Beer Wolf" (Lobo fermentibulus), originating from northern Europe, like other human-associated scavengers is now ubiquitous, living at the fringes of human settlements across the globe. Stealthy and shrewd, this small quadruped only selects prey whose perceptions and defenses have been dulled by an intoxicant, typically alcohol. The Beer Wolf rarely kills its prey, since its nutritional needs are very modest. Instead, the typical evidence of a visit from The Beer Wolf is indirect, and noted only the following morning, in the form of unexplained cuts and bruises mysteriously acquired during the period of intoxication despite no memory of trauma.

Cwpants · Post by **Cwpants** » Thu Mar 27, 2014 5:45 am

Hahahaha!

That explains so much!

Great job

Thomas Daulton · Post by **Thomas Daulton** » Thu Mar 27, 2014 4:12 pm

Glad somebody "got it"! One of my drinking buddies coined the phrase, when you wake up with unexplained bruises the next day. I just thought it would be funny to write up the concept in a taxonomic textbook style. Hey Drabblecast gurus, let's have another Cryptozoology episode!

Cwpants · Post by **Cwpants** » Thu Mar 27, 2014 4:25 pm

Well, I thought it was clever and very fun to read

Thomas Daulton · Post by **Thomas Daulton** » Thu Mar 27, 2014 4:30 pm

I bet a lot of Forumites will suddenly realize, "Hey, I've been visited by The Beer Wolf too!" Ahhh, the sense of community...

Cwpants · Post by **Cwpants** » Thu Mar 27, 2014 5:20 pm

Hmm...can you explain the ridiculous creature that crawls into my brain and mucks things up when I've fallen for someone? Lol

strawman · Post by **strawman** » Thu Mar 27, 2014 8:10 pm

Oh, you mean Cupid's idiot brother, Stupid.

Cwpants · Post by **Cwpants** » Thu Mar 27, 2014 8:12 pm

That's the one!

Thomas Daulton · Post by **Thomas Daulton** » Thu Mar 27, 2014 8:20 pm

Ahhh, Strawman, I always knew you were an expert cryptozoologist!! Thanks for clearing that up!

strawman · Post by **strawman** » Thu Mar 27, 2014 9:25 pm

Nothing crypto about Stupid.
Dude gets around.

Varda · Post by **Varda** » Thu Mar 27, 2014 9:59 pm

Everything about this thread rocks my face off.

Does the Beer Wolf come in breeds? Because I think I'm gonna pay a visit to the Stout Bernard tonight...

Thomas Daulton · Post by **Thomas Daulton** » Thu Mar 27, 2014 10:28 pm

^^ Everything Varda said!

Scattercat · Post by **Scattercat** » Sat Mar 29, 2014 2:48 am

Are we certain it doesn't eat dignity?

Thomas Daulton · Post by **Thomas Daulton** » Sat Mar 29, 2014 9:23 am

Excellent question, 'cat! I don't think the answer is known. Most field cryptozoologists tend to leave their Dignitometers behind in the lab. Something about their profession bollixes the readings.

strawman · Post by **strawman** » Sat Mar 29, 2014 11:07 am

Yes, the act of observation changes the direction or velocity of the thing observed.
This accounts for much bruising.
The Heineken Uncertainty Principle.

Varda · Post by **Varda** » Sat Mar 29, 2014 1:17 pm

Was visited by das Bier Wulf last night. Observational reports confirm that it does, indeed, eat dignity.

Unrelated note: why's it so bright in here?

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