“Master, I have climbed this mountain to be a student of yours. Please, teach me the ancient ways,” the young man said with his face to the ground.
“Hmm, yes, you have climbed this mountain—this is true. Ah! But I can see you have much to learn,” the teacher remarked, stroking his long, white ear hairs. “I cannot teach you yet, for you do not know how to learn.”
“Dude!” exclaimed the young man in surprise. “You're the teacher! I came here for you to teach me all that!”
“Hrm, yes. I cannot teach you yet.”
Many on the forum have asked me, so here's my answer: a spoonful of lighter fluid. And you'll need to wash it out really well when you're done.