Sherbet the burlesque clown ran for his life, chased by two blurry figures cackling in the night. There was little hope for escape, as his opaque make-up streams down his face onto the pavement leaving a steady white trail behind him.
Suddenly the shadows become solid and bore down on his throat and wrists. One of them stops and furiously spits out Sherbet's hot blood. "Adrian, don't ingest its blood!" but it was too late for his friend. His nose blooms red and spherical, his hair frizzes bright orange whilst his feet rupture his leather shoes. He had become...a Were-Clown.
Something Funny Walks This Way
Something Funny Walks This Way
"And then it rained cake." (Jingo, Terry Pratchett)
Blog: http://then-it-rained-drabbles.tumblr.com/
My Illustrations : http://www.flickr.com/photos/lady-cerridwen/"
My fan art:
mystic2u.deviantart.com
Blog: http://then-it-rained-drabbles.tumblr.com/
My Illustrations : http://www.flickr.com/photos/lady-cerridwen/"
My fan art:
mystic2u.deviantart.com
- JoshPeters
- Member
- Posts: 30
- Joined: Mon Jun 16, 2014 4:57 am
- Location: Minneapolis, MN
- Contact:
Re: Something Funny Walks This Way
I like it but the story flips between past and present tense.
Beware of clowns.
Beware of clowns.
Re: Something Funny Walks This Way
Do you think should I make the beginning more present to make it flow better? Or make it all in the past?
"And then it rained cake." (Jingo, Terry Pratchett)
Blog: http://then-it-rained-drabbles.tumblr.com/
My Illustrations : http://www.flickr.com/photos/lady-cerridwen/"
My fan art:
mystic2u.deviantart.com
Blog: http://then-it-rained-drabbles.tumblr.com/
My Illustrations : http://www.flickr.com/photos/lady-cerridwen/"
My fan art:
mystic2u.deviantart.com
- JoshPeters
- Member
- Posts: 30
- Joined: Mon Jun 16, 2014 4:57 am
- Location: Minneapolis, MN
- Contact:
Re: Something Funny Walks This Way
It could work either way but it would flow best if you went with one or the other.
Re: Something Funny Walks This Way
Isn't the beginning usually in the past?
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.
"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
- JoshPeters
- Member
- Posts: 30
- Joined: Mon Jun 16, 2014 4:57 am
- Location: Minneapolis, MN
- Contact:
Re: Something Funny Walks This Way
Only when you get to the future.