Something Funny Walks This Way

[Hellcat]

Sherbet the burlesque clown ran for his life, chased by two blurry figures cackling in the night. There was little hope for escape, as his opaque make-up streams down his face onto the pavement leaving a steady white trail behind him.

Suddenly the shadows become solid and bore down on his throat and wrists. One of them stops and furiously spits out Sherbet's hot blood. "Adrian, don't ingest its blood!" but it was too late for his friend. His nose blooms red and spherical, his hair frizzes bright orange whilst his feet rupture his leather shoes. He had become...a Were-Clown.

[JoshPeters]

I like it but the story flips between past and present tense.

Beware of clowns.

[Hellcat]

Do you think should I make the beginning more present to make it flow better? Or make it all in the past?

[JoshPeters]

It could work either way but it would flow best if you went with one or the other.

[strawman]

Isn't the beginning usually in the past?

[JoshPeters]

Only when you get to the future.