DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)

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MonsieurMoustache
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DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)

Post by MonsieurMoustache » Tue Oct 07, 2014 9:52 am

The alien pointed. "Purple wire to the red cubezoid, green tube into the qellezer puff, then reattach red wires to that squirmy Crweelin creature. Watch out, it spits."

Gart5bk's spaceship was nearly repaired, no thanks to his injured arms but to his enslaving-device and the hapless 'Earth' native he'd shanghaied. It should be grateful he'd expanded its mind to understand Alnitakian engineering.

Already late, he wasted no time blasting off.

The beagle, meanwhile, marveled over her new-found knowledge. Qellezers, Crweelins, wires and tubes raced around her brain. Only one thing troubled her. What exactly did purple, red, and green mean?

_______

I'd love some feedback on this one to improve it and make sure it's clear. Wouldn't mind a better title, either.

Oh, and I shoudl mention that my very first drabble here was the Good Samaritan Theme, so this definitely feels like a touchstone. I actually made it to mirror that one, which is called Bunking with Bovines.

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Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)

Post by strawman » Tue Oct 07, 2014 10:23 am

This one was nice until those blue, red, green things. Can't guess what they are. Kinda like when you pretend to throw the ball, but it's in your hand. WTF?

- Yrs truly,
The Beagle
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

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Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)

Post by MonsieurMoustache » Tue Oct 07, 2014 10:26 am

I was riffing off the 'dogs are colour blind' trope. So while she knows what a qellezer puff is, she still can't tell what colour it is, meaning that that spaceship isn't getting very far. Did that come across?

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Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)

Post by strawman » Tue Oct 07, 2014 11:34 am

Ack! :oops: I totally missed the dog/colorblind angle.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

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Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)

Post by pondspider » Tue Oct 07, 2014 1:09 pm

If this ever makes it to audio, the alien words will be fun.

For what it's worth, I read somewhere that dogs can see blue, and I've noticed many dog toys have a lot of blue on them.

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Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)

Post by SpareInch » Tue Oct 07, 2014 1:35 pm

MonsieurMoustache wrote:What exactly was a blue, red, and green?

_______

I'd love some feedback on this one to improve it and make sure it's clear. Wouldn't mind a better title, either.
Just my opinion, but that last sentence might work better as
What exactly did blue, red, and green mean?
Also, this is so reminiscent of the wrecked spaceship in Douglas Adams's Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency. Although I still don't know where the albatross came from. :lol:

PS:- I only put that last paragraph in for the albatross line. :D
The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.

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Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)

Post by bounceswoosh » Tue Oct 07, 2014 1:50 pm

I hate to be that person, but attach is misspelled ( and that affects character count). I loved it and got the colorblind reference right away. It may not be 100% factually correct, but it's "common knowledge" and worked for me.

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Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)

Post by strawman » Tue Oct 07, 2014 4:17 pm

So common usage has spilled over to common knowledge, has it?
Have you lost your senses, or have they gone common too?
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

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MonsieurMoustache
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Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)

Post by MonsieurMoustache » Tue Oct 07, 2014 5:43 pm

Thanks for the feedback, everyone. I actually did know that dogs see blue, and while I was relying on the stereotype of colourblind dogs, I find I can no longer perpetuate that stereotype. So Purple it is. Thanks for spelling catch, I guess I have to give up my notion of perfection. I did the changes suggested.

As for the Dirk Gently scene - which book was that? I think I only read Tea Time of the Soul and Salmon of Doubt. I don't really remember him at a spaceship scene. I am a major Doug Adams fan though, so I'm embarrassed I don't recall.

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Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)

Post by tibbi » Tue Oct 07, 2014 5:56 pm

A most wonderful drabble. And yes, if it makes it into audio it will be fascinating to hear the interpretation of Crweelin. :)
And thus ends my $.02. :)

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Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)

Post by MonsieurMoustache » Tue Oct 07, 2014 9:36 pm

Hi tibbi! I came up with this while work on 'Space Puppies' but technically the dog was never in space, so I decided it didn't count. More space dogs in future.

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Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)

Post by tibbi » Tue Oct 07, 2014 9:38 pm

I wondered. :)
And thus ends my $.02. :)

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Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)

Post by MonsieurMoustache » Wed Oct 08, 2014 7:09 am

bounceswoosh wrote:I hate to be that person, but attach is misspelled ( and that affects character count). I loved it and got the colorblind reference right away. It may not be 100% factually correct, but it's "common knowledge" and worked for me.

Don't worry, it's word count instead of character count here so no harm no foul. I'm afraid I'm always a little clumsy on the keyboard, but 'attach' is one of those words my heads thinks just looks better with three t's. Yeah, I'm perpetrating a stereotype. I'm terrible. At least I'm not saying bats are blind or that lemmings jump off cliffs though.

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Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)

Post by unseentangerine » Wed Oct 08, 2014 7:32 am

Wow! This is great on many levels. triple the surprise, triple the points: +17. good stuff
that's right. I initially gave it 5.666666666... points
Many on the forum have asked me, so here's my answer: a spoonful of lighter fluid. And you'll need to wash it out really well when you're done.

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Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)

Post by SpareInch » Wed Oct 08, 2014 11:50 am

MonsieurMoustache wrote:As for the Dirk Gently scene - which book was that? I think I only read Tea Time of the Soul and Salmon of Doubt. I don't really remember him at a spaceship scene. I am a major Doug Adams fan though, so I'm embarrassed I don't recall.

Between us then, we have three books covered, because I only read Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency itself, which I think is the very first one.

In it, DG has to contend with the ghost of an ancient space traveller who crashed on Earth and accidentally brought life to the planet when he got an Electric Monk, an AI devoted to believing things, to check out his repairs.

The Monk said they were good to go, but the ship blew up and killed the crew, leaving the ghost drifting the world trying to put its mistake right by possessing people. Including Coleridge, who wrote its life story into The Rhyme Of The Ancient Mariner.

DG uses Prof Chronotis's time machine to go back in time and plant the idea of an albatross in Coleridge's mind so that the ghosts plans will never come to fruition. Every time it tries, it gets confused by the albatross.

It keeps saying things like, "I wish I knew where the albatross came from."

It's a very long time since I read it though. I lost my sight a few years after and all I could ever find in audio were the BBC Radio plays. I ought to look on iBooks, I suppose.
The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.

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Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)

Post by MonsieurMoustache » Wed Oct 08, 2014 8:19 pm

I believe Dirk Gently has a few audiobooks now (make sure you get the unabridged versions) and I know the Salmon of a Doubt is on audio, as that's how I came by it. Some should be available on Youtube, but I find just ordering the discs from the Library to be the easiest. They tend to have very good voice actors and are actually one of my favourite ways to experience DA's work.

The albatross sounds hilarious. Funny how often that turns up in British comedy. Albatross, anyone? Get your albatross here!

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Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)

Post by MonsieurMoustache » Fri Oct 10, 2014 10:20 am

Oh, and I should mention that my very first drabble here was for the Good Samaritan Theme, so this definitely feels like a touchstone. I actually made it to mirror that one, which is called Bunking with Bovines.

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Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)

Post by unseentangerine » Tue Nov 11, 2014 9:12 am

I finally know how to pronounce the words in this drabble :O
Many on the forum have asked me, so here's my answer: a spoonful of lighter fluid. And you'll need to wash it out really well when you're done.

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Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)

Post by pondspider » Tue Nov 11, 2014 3:08 pm

unseentangerine wrote:I finally know how to pronounce the words in this drabble :O
Certainly sounded authentic to my befuddled ear ;)

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Re: DIY Spaceship Repair (Asshole Samaritan Theme)

Post by MonsieurMoustache » Sat Nov 22, 2014 12:12 am

Wonderful job on the reading, Norm, I loved it! I'm surprised you got your mouth around all those weird language malfunctions I excused as alien language. Thanks for sharing it with the Drabblecast community.

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