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A knock at the door

Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 10:25 am
by plasticastle
Often I hear a knock on the door. I’ve never really bothered to get up and find out who it is.
Terrance says that I should just ignore it and whoever it is will eventually get bored and go away.
“Just one of those Jehovah's Witnesses” he says
“Up to no good, here to bible bash us into submission, the bastards. Get back to your cleaning”
I don’t know what a jehovah witness is, but as a rule I agree with everything Terrance says.
I’ve been scrubbing Joanne out of the floorboards for weeks.
She always was the outspoken type.

Re: A knock at the door

Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 2:52 pm
by pondspider
Slightly confused at the ending... :?

Re: A knock at the door

Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 9:32 pm
by strawman
When Terrance says, "Shut up", you better damn well get back to cleaning.

Re: A knock at the door

Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 9:47 pm
by SpareInch
strawman wrote:When Terrance says, "Shut up", you better damn well get back to cleaning.
It's like Simon Says, but with CONSEQUENCES!

Re: A knock at the door

Posted: Fri Oct 24, 2014 6:05 am
by plasticastle
pondspider wrote:Slightly confused at the ending... :?
Now you've got me questioning it myself! Am open to edits, what part makes it confusing?

Re: A knock at the door

Posted: Fri Oct 24, 2014 9:13 am
by pondspider
plasticastle wrote:
pondspider wrote:Slightly confused at the ending... :?
Now you've got me questioning it myself! Am open to edits, what part makes it confusing?
The lines that had me confused:
I’ve been scrubbing Joanne out of the floorboards for weeks.
She always was the outspoken type.
I think I have it now... give me time, my brain cells are a little slow on the uptake sometimes. :roll:

:?: Would I be right in thinking that Joanne was a former lackey of Terrance?

But why does it take weeks to scrub her out of the floorboards? Did she have indelible body fluids or something? :|

Re: A knock at the door

Posted: Fri Oct 24, 2014 10:56 am
by strawman
Out, damn Spot!
So it happens with puppies too.

Re: A knock at the door

Posted: Sat Oct 25, 2014 2:47 pm
by unreliable narrator
I really like the ambiguity of this one, it makes you think about the possible relationships between the characters. I took it that the narrator and Joanne were perhaps Terrance's daughters, that the police or social services were hammering on the door, and that it took so long to clean the floorboards because of the dramatic nature of Joanne's demise... I coud be way off, that's kind of why I like the story.

Nice job! :D

Re: A knock at the door

Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 10:26 am
by plasticastle
pondspider wrote:
plasticastle wrote:
pondspider wrote:Slightly confused at the ending... :?
Now you've got me questioning it myself! Am open to edits, what part makes it confusing?
The lines that had me confused:
I’ve been scrubbing Joanne out of the floorboards for weeks.
She always was the outspoken type.
I think I have it now... give me time, my brain cells are a little slow on the uptake sometimes. :roll:

:?: Would I be right in thinking that Joanne was a former lackey of Terrance?

But why does it take weeks to scrub her out of the floorboards? Did she have indelible body fluids or something? :|
You got it :)
I wanted the two girls to be either hostages/forced wives/daughters (take your pick)
Joanne was spread pretty thinly in a lot of places.
I got a few other people to read it to test, it was a 60/40 split so I think i'm going to re-write it later. Thanks for your comments.

Re: A knock at the door

Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 10:26 am
by plasticastle
unreliable narrator wrote:I really like the ambiguity of this one, it makes you think about the possible relationships between the characters. I took it that the narrator and Joanne were perhaps Terrance's daughters, that the police or social services were hammering on the door, and that it took so long to clean the floorboards because of the dramatic nature of Joanne's demise... I coud be way off, that's kind of why I like the story.

Nice job! :D
Thanks man, glad you enjoyed it :)

Re: A knock at the door

Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 10:30 am
by plasticastle
strawman wrote:Out, damn Spot!
So it happens with puppies too.
Dang son! that's pretty dark! XD
Thinking that it might not be a good thing to be a puppy in the strawman house or the Macbeths.
Come to think of it, being a four legged anything in the Macbeth household is probably a bad idea.

Re: A knock at the door

Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 1:41 pm
by PB&Jellyphish320
aaaahh... Johann got bible bashed. Had to read it twice but I got it.

Re: A knock at the door

Posted: Fri Oct 31, 2014 9:37 pm
by swamp
This was a good one to read on Halloween.