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Last Thoughts

Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2014 1:30 am
by metalcapatiller
Susan didn’t like the way that the man in the cupcake thong was staring at her. His dead eyes never blinking as he watched her through the thick glass.

“It wouldn’t be so bad,” she said to no one in particular, “except every now and then he licks his lips.”

As if on cue, he ran his dry tongue over his dry lips, which did nothing to improve their already gray-green color.

She imagined the last horrific thought this flabby man must have had when he was finally attacked by the zombies.

”Oh god, why couldn’t I have been wearing sweatpants. “

Re: Last Thoughts

Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2014 2:31 am
by unseentangerine
OK, first of all, metalcapitiller is one epic name. (I'd say even beating out Bitey the Snake.) Second, "Susan didn’t like the way that the man in the cupcake thong was staring at her." is one epic opening sentence. Third, this is one whole epic drabble. Nice job. :mrgreen:

Re: Last Thoughts

Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2014 2:26 pm
by unreliable narrator
Burrrilliant! From attention grabbing first line to grin inducing last. Very well written. :lol:

Re: Last Thoughts

Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2014 10:55 pm
by pondspider
A lesson to us all.

Re: Last Thoughts

Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2014 3:14 am
by metalcapatiller
I made my friends read this and they either backed away slowly or threatened to punch me... I thought it was hilarious. Thank you for enjoying the story and proving I'm not the only "weird" one out there

Re: Last Thoughts

Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2014 9:04 am
by pondspider
metalcapatiller wrote:I made my friends read this and they either backed away slowly or threatened to punch me... I thought it was hilarious. Thank you for enjoying the story and proving I'm not the only "weird" one out there
Have you tried exposing your friends to a Drabblecast podcast? They might have a change of heart... now there's an idea :twisted:

Re: Last Thoughts

Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2014 11:23 am
by Chairman Goodchild
metalcapatiller wrote:I made my friends read this and they either backed away slowly or threatened to punch me... I thought it was hilarious. Thank you for enjoying the story and proving I'm not the only "weird" one out there
You are on the right forum, my friend. And that is a pretty kick-ass Drabble.