The Decision

100 word stories. Post all you like, maybe we'll dip in and use yours?
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wanderingmarmot
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The Decision

Post by wanderingmarmot » Tue Jun 02, 2015 3:03 am

There comes a time in each person’s life when they must decide to become a person of integrity or treachery. Cormac examined his face carefully in the mirror searching for a hint of which kind of person he was.

The corners of his mouth slowly curled into a smile as Cormac reached into his jacket pocket and felt the nickel-plated pistol and the envelope stuffed with cash. He closed his eyes, drew a deep breath, and deliberately exhaled. The time had come.

He left the restaurant bathroom, sat back down at the table, and said “Jimmy, we need to talk.”

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Algernon Sydney is Dead
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Re: The Decision

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Tue Jun 02, 2015 7:07 am

Great opening paragraph!

I don't get the ending, though. Is there a reference to some pop culture thing I missed?

Welcome aboard, Wanderingmarmot!

wanderingmarmot
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Re: The Decision

Post by wanderingmarmot » Tue Jun 02, 2015 10:59 am

Thanks for the welcome and for your comments.

I was aiming for ambiguity. What did Cormac decide? Was he there to kill Jimmy and decided to go ahead, or had he decided to warn Jimmy to get out of town? Maybe he was there to hire Jimmy to commit a crime or was he there to confess to Jimmy that he had just carried out a crime.

I spent about 3 days playing with exactly what followed "Jimmy..." in the last line and every time I gave a definitive answer to what was about to happen at the table, the story felt flat. So, I shot for ambiguity and left it to the reader to decide what had lead to that moment and what was about to happen.

Some of the most stressful/suspenseful moments in my life have come about during interaction with people who spoke the simple words, "we need to talk." I didn't know what was coming, I didn't know if its good or bad, but I knew that things were about to change and likely in a big way.

It was that ambiguity, uncertainty, and suspense capped with the knowledge that something significant was about to go down that I was aiming for with my ending.

Thanks again for your comments.

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Algernon Sydney is Dead
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Re: The Decision

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Tue Jun 02, 2015 5:26 pm

wanderingmarmot wrote:Some of the most stressful/suspenseful moments ... come [after hearing] ..., "we need to talk."
Ain't that the truth!
And my standard response of, "Just kill me now," even seems appropriate in this context. :)

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