When Nessie died we had a wake. Right on the shore where her body washed up. John got drunk and tried to make a viking funeral of the whole thing and before it was over we were all crying. Even the guy who got his picture in the paper. He didn't deserve all the grief; the locals knew Nessie was dead before his boat rammed it. That didn't stop the witch-hunts though. Those front page headlines made a terrible epitaph: the line "NESSIE EXISTS!" overlaid with "NESSIE EXTINCT!" But no amount of drinking inspired anything better than a simple "How?"
How many times do I have to shout "ARCH!" before it appears?