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Other People

Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2017 10:01 am
by MonsieurMoustache
How could you, Brian?

Why do you possess so little self-control?

Why did you have to meet that woman?

What was it? The golden hair? Her toned, inviting physique?

You’ve kept yourself in check so long. But now I see the true you.

I think we'll have to move on to other people.

Again!

And I'd just gotten used calling you Brian.

But the real Brian wouldn't stand sheepishly in the doorway, blood and blond hair matting his fur, expecting his sham wife to clean up his real mess.

I better like the next bodies as much as these ones.



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I'm open to suggestions on this one. Wrote it late at night and it's my first in awhile. Let me know if it makes sense! Oh, and if anyone with MS Word could let me know if it's a 100 words? I don't have Word and have to use less accurate online tools. Cheers!

Re: Other People

Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2017 10:03 pm
by kwooderson
Yep, a hundred words exactly. Makes sense as far as I can see, though I'm not partial to 'toned inviting physique' -there's something off about it. Hope that helps?

Re: Other People

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 6:41 am
by MonsieurMoustache
kwooderson wrote:Yep, a hundred words exactly. Makes sense as far as I can see, though I'm not partial to 'toned inviting physique' -there's something off about it. Hope that helps?


Yup, it does! I think it can be phrased better. Thanks!