Bsides 04 - Support Group for the Supernaturally Experienced

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normsherman
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Bsides 04 - Support Group for the Supernaturally Experienced

Postby normsherman » Fri Jun 19, 2009 9:44 pm

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Bsides 4 - Support Group for the Supernaturally Experienced by Elias Caress
Monday, June 15, 2009

"I can smell the blood on your hands, I can smell your innocence dead and stinking on your breath!"

Max quickly glanced down at his clean hands. Just before he arrived he had washed them with disinfectant soap and meticulously cleaned under the nails.

"You're looking for the support group?" The old man's voice was as creepy as he looked.

"Yes"

"You're late. Out of courtesy to the other members, please arrive on time next week...."

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strawman
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Postby strawman » Sat Jun 20, 2009 5:10 am

Best B-Sides so far.
It is a super drabbly concept. Evil does result in personalities in need of support groups, although it's never self-aware enough to get there except in a drabblecast scenario. Having an innocent guy walk in on the meeting reminds me of someone who just happens upon the Drabblecast for the first time and gets sucked into the strange vortex.
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Postby Mr. Tweedy » Sat Jun 20, 2009 5:53 am

I liked it, mostly because it gave a Norm a chance to really go all out with the character voices. Rudy the Demon was great. I also enjoyed the playing of the other characters grotesque/horrible conditions as blemishes and neuroses.

I think it would have been a better ending for Max to end up becoming a member of the group because of his unspecified "something evil." Having everyone eat him wasn't nearly as clever as the clever writing up to that point. Fun story despite that, though.
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Postby tbaker2500 » Tue Jun 23, 2009 2:59 am

I second Mr. Tweedy. Couldn't have said it better myself.
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Postby cammoblammo » Fri Jun 26, 2009 1:12 pm

Yeah, what Mr Tweedy said.

The story was okay but was let down by the ending. I expected to find out that the guy was some sort of demon, or the other guys in the group were going to go all Rev. Lovejoy on him because drink driving was too bad, even for them.

I would have liked a bit more exposition too. We meet all the characters, but they don't really do anything apart from get a few corny jokes out of the way before eating the protagonist. Some great ideas, but I'm still waiting for the punchline.
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Re: BSides 4- Support Group for the Supernaturally Experienced

Postby eric_marsh » Mon Nov 16, 2009 11:47 pm

I liked this one a lot.
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Re: BSides 4- Support Group for the Supernaturally Experienced

Postby tbaker2500 » Tue Nov 17, 2009 3:02 am

Kinda late to the support group, eh? Sure you got the right one?
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Re: B Sides 4 - Support Group for the Supernaturally Experie

Postby Unblinking » Thu Apr 28, 2011 6:59 pm

I liked most of this right up until the very ending. Lots of fun juxtapositions in here. My particular favorite part was when he explained about the guard smelling his black heart and Rudy has a good chuckle about it "Oh, that explains everything. This is my fault really." Awesome.

Him getting eaten, though, just didn't really make sense with the rest of the story. It was like an AA meeting adjourning by popping open the champagne in celebration of sobriety. I think it would've worked better if they'd told him he wasn't welcome because of his DUI. "Have you no compassion? I mean, children are my primary source of calories but drunk driving? That's just wrong!"

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Re: B Sides 4 - Support Group for the Supernaturally Experie

Postby tbaker2500 » Thu Apr 28, 2011 10:09 pm

Hee hee, that would have been good.
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