Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

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tbaker2500
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Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Post by tbaker2500 » Sun Mar 04, 2012 4:32 am

Nice.
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Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Post by TroyStJames » Sun Mar 04, 2012 4:38 am

In an effort to keep us at ease, an ambassador from the mother ship took a new form. He soon learned how much we hate clowns.
Troy St.James

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Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Post by eviebae » Sun Mar 04, 2012 10:20 am

I told Dad, "dere's a monster in my closet."
He laughed, opening it to prove me wrong.
Now, dere's 2 monsters in my closet.

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Algernon Sydney is Dead
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Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Sun Mar 04, 2012 11:09 am

eviebae wrote:I told Dad, "dere's a monster in my closet."
He laughed, opening it to prove me wrong.
Now, dere's 2 monsters in my closet.
Good one!

I'm a bit ruffled by the misspelling. It could be cutesy child speak but there's not enough context to make it work for me. Perhaps:

"Poppa? There's a monster in my closet."
He laughed, opening it to prove me wrong.
Now, there's 2 monsters in the closet.

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Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Post by strawman » Sun Mar 04, 2012 12:54 pm

I just figured it was Boudreaux, and his little boy, Thibodeaux.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

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Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

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Russian to Election: Moscow or Wall Street?

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Mon Mar 05, 2012 6:35 am

I spoke mob power to truth
and all on someone else's dime.
Beyond the damned folly of youth
it was a most treasonous crime.



Alternate title: "Putin on the Blitz"?

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Post by loyaleagle » Mon Mar 05, 2012 9:14 am

My darling -Stop- Quarantine now dire -Stop- Anyone could be hidden monster -Stop- Even this telegrapher -Stop- Stop!
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Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Post by strawman » Mon Mar 05, 2012 1:11 pm

It seems unlikely that the telegrapher would attack while completing the message. You need a change of tone ending with "can't wait to see you."
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

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Are the stars out tonight?

Post by strawman » Mon Mar 05, 2012 1:36 pm

The humble shepherd settled his flock at night, gazed dreamily up at twinkling stars, and sang: I only have eyes for ewe.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

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Re: Are the stars out tonight?

Post by Christi » Mon Mar 05, 2012 3:27 pm

‘Yero my hero….
That’s not baaaad

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Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Post by loyaleagle » Mon Mar 05, 2012 9:43 pm

strawman wrote:It seems unlikely that the telegrapher would attack while completing the message. You need a change of tone ending with "can't wait to see you."
Ok, so first thing...I NEED to? Feel free to write your own story. This is even public domain, so feel free to copy and modify mine!

Second, I feel like your suggested ending would kind of undermine the point of this story. HE isn't the monster (and what audience DOESN'T expect that nowadays), but the man passing on the message IS! I wanted it to be A) kind of clever and B) use the "word joke" of "-Stop- Stop!" Granted, it's not perfect, but the premise tickles my fancy enough to post on here.

EDIT: Oh and I would personally love to hear what Norm sounded like reading this one.
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Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Post by strawman » Mon Mar 05, 2012 10:17 pm

loyaleagle wrote: I feel like your suggested ending would kind of undermine the point of this story. HE isn't the monster (and what audience DOESN'T expect that nowadays), but the man passing on the message IS! I wanted it to be A) kind of clever and B) use the "word joke" of "-Stop- Stop!"
By telegrapher, I meant the man passing on the message. Is it clever to imply the guy is tapping out the message with one hand while killing the sender with the other?

I didn't say YOU need to. But I should have phrased it in a way that didn't suggest that. It's just feedback.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

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Step on a crack, break your mother's back...

Post by ursus_arctos » Mon Mar 05, 2012 10:52 pm

My walk home takes longer every day. I say the rhyme like he said, and try to avoid the cracks. But they keep getting wider.

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Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Post by tbaker2500 » Tue Mar 06, 2012 2:17 am

strawman wrote:
loyaleagle wrote: I feel like your suggested ending would kind of undermine the point of this story. HE isn't the monster (and what audience DOESN'T expect that nowadays), but the man passing on the message IS! I wanted it to be A) kind of clever and B) use the "word joke" of "-Stop- Stop!"
By telegrapher, I meant the man passing on the message. Is it clever to imply the guy is tapping out the message with one hand while killing the sender with the other?

I didn't say YOU need to. But I should have phrased it in a way that didn't suggest that. It's just feedback.
Yea, "need to" was a little strong.

I think this is a case of slight ambiguity creating significantly different perspectives. I liked the original and didn't understand the proposed modification.

How about "messenger" instead of "telegrapher"? Just a thought.
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Re: Step on a crack, break your mother's back...

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Tue Mar 06, 2012 3:07 am

ursus_arctos wrote:My walk home takes longer every day. I say the rhyme like he said, and try to avoid the cracks. But they keep getting wider.
I always thought that wasn't the "crack" they were talking about... :o :oops:

Welcome aboard! :)

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Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Post by loyaleagle » Tue Mar 06, 2012 8:20 am

Yea, "need to" was a little strong.

I think this is a case of slight ambiguity creating significantly different perspectives. I liked the original and didn't understand the proposed modification.

How about "messenger" instead of "telegrapher"? Just a thought.
Hmmm, yes maybe that would work better. I did in fact have to look up the correct term for a telegraph operator. But then, I wanted to use the word to specify the contrivance being used. Also, I think the actual "threat" needs to be clarified a little. I tend to write these very fast, so this one obviously came together mushy.
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Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Post by Nymic » Tue Mar 06, 2012 11:17 am

Twabble twabble little people, take a look through the peep hole. It won't hurt, I don't lie. Cross my heart, hope to die.
Twabble twabble little people, take a look through the peep hole. It won't hurt, I don't lie. Cross my heart, hope to die.

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Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Post by Christi » Tue Mar 06, 2012 12:17 pm

I sampled the pure untainted Flavor. Converted, I fell to my knees, giving thanks and praise to the Cheeses of Nazareth.

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Re: Step on a crack, break your mother's back...

Post by ursus_arctos » Tue Mar 06, 2012 6:43 pm

Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote:
ursus_arctos wrote:My walk home takes longer every day. I say the rhyme like he said, and try to avoid the cracks. But they keep getting wider.
I always thought that wasn't the "crack" they were talking about... :o :oops:

Welcome aboard! :)
Ha ha ha

Thanks!

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Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Post by uncre8d1 » Tue Mar 06, 2012 8:09 pm

You may ask why we chose you. We were a little pressed for time, and you alone in the 'Wal-mart' zone wore clean underwear.
This post is made of at least 60% recycled letters. Want to help keep the Internet clean? You can, by sweeping any excess letters you may find into the 'reply' box.

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