Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Submit 100 character stories for the weekly contest
User avatar
strawman
Member
Posts: 5966
Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2007 2:20 pm
Location: South Georgia

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Postby strawman » Tue Dec 10, 2013 6:38 pm

Varda wrote:Happy 4,000th, ROU! ;) If that were your age, you'd be as old as this brain!

Cool!
.... which was preserved by boiling in its own juices. The skeletons were found in a huge fire pit.

My guess is that there will be many of these discovered around the world, as throwing people into large fire pits seems to have been common practice in most early stage pre-civilizations. It was most likely vestigial of the practice of following up the Slo-Pit BBQ with saucing and consumption, until the Great Meteor Event from which, it is conjectured, the human UGH gene was introduced.* Which is consistent with the fact that the brains were not consumed and, of course, dispositive of the possibility that early humans were zombies.

*This gene is responsible for humans' attraction to cats, and revulsion for slugs.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

User avatar
MonsieurMoustache
Member
Posts: 316
Joined: Tue May 28, 2013 8:11 pm

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Postby MonsieurMoustache » Sat Dec 14, 2013 1:06 am

I know the purple Flinstones taste bad, kid. But the Bujon hate grape-flavoured children, too. So eat lots of Bam-Bams.

User avatar
Algernon Sydney is Dead
Moderator
Posts: 3504
Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2008 11:22 pm
Location: PRK (California)

True Story

Postby Algernon Sydney is Dead » Tue Dec 17, 2013 12:41 am

"My marriage was perfect," she said. "Every time.
…I must've been a great wife for that to happen; my ex's are all jerks."

User avatar
Varda
Connor Choadsworth Defender
Posts: 1383
Joined: Wed Apr 10, 2013 5:41 pm
Location: Athens, Georgia
Contact:

Re: True Story

Postby Varda » Tue Dec 17, 2013 1:50 am

Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote:"My marriage was perfect," she said. "Every time.
…I must've been a great wife for that to happen; my ex's are all jerks."

And to think, all this time I thought you were a dude, and it turns out you're actually the perfect wife! :p

But yeah, funny how for some people, it's always everyone else's fault when things go badly.
Medical Microfiction: Stories about Science

Drabblescout Badges:
Merits: Twabble Author (5), Drabble Author (4), DRIP Slave Volunteer (2), Whittling (1), Macaroni Crafts (2)
Demerits: Redd*t Rouser (2), Whittler's Mother (6)

User avatar
Algernon Sydney is Dead
Moderator
Posts: 3504
Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2008 11:22 pm
Location: PRK (California)

Re: True Story

Postby Algernon Sydney is Dead » Tue Dec 17, 2013 2:26 am

Varda wrote:And to think, all this time I thought you were a dude, and it turns out you're actually the perfect wife! :p

I would so make someone a great wife! (Except that the thought of sex with dudes highly repulses me -- so typical wife, in that regard. ;) )

User avatar
Varda
Connor Choadsworth Defender
Posts: 1383
Joined: Wed Apr 10, 2013 5:41 pm
Location: Athens, Georgia
Contact:

Re: True Story

Postby Varda » Tue Dec 17, 2013 3:05 am

Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote:
Varda wrote:And to think, all this time I thought you were a dude, and it turns out you're actually the perfect wife! :p

I would so make someone a great wife! (Except that the thought of sex with dudes highly repulses me -- so typical wife, in that regard. ;) )

I just wrote and deleted several highly crude responses before my better senses kicked in. Don't drink and Twabble, kids! :lol:
Medical Microfiction: Stories about Science

Drabblescout Badges:
Merits: Twabble Author (5), Drabble Author (4), DRIP Slave Volunteer (2), Whittling (1), Macaroni Crafts (2)
Demerits: Redd*t Rouser (2), Whittler's Mother (6)

sandrilde
Member
Posts: 153
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 8:45 pm

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Postby sandrilde » Tue Dec 17, 2013 6:42 pm

ouch for all women out there, Algernon.... C'mon, now! Men hate sex the same amount as women do... If you see what I mean -

User avatar
strawman
Member
Posts: 5966
Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2007 2:20 pm
Location: South Georgia

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Postby strawman » Tue Dec 17, 2013 7:24 pm

My personal experience: I refuse to have sex exactly as often as my spouse refuses to have sex with me.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

User avatar
ROU Killing Time
Notorious Forum Hog
Posts: 4236
Joined: Sun Feb 01, 2009 10:07 pm
Location: Portland, OR

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Postby ROU Killing Time » Tue Dec 17, 2013 10:08 pm

strawman wrote:My personal experience: I refuse to have sex exactly as often as my spouse refuses to have sex with me.

There's that fruitful and multiply mandate to consider, after all.
"Never fuck with The Culture"
Sublime In Peace Iain M. Banks.

User avatar
Algernon Sydney is Dead
Moderator
Posts: 3504
Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2008 11:22 pm
Location: PRK (California)

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Postby Algernon Sydney is Dead » Tue Dec 17, 2013 11:53 pm

sandrilde wrote:ouch for all women out there, Algernon.... C'mon, now! Men hate sex the same amount as women do... If you see what I mean -

Jeez, It's a sad, sad world when the classics no longer work and the PC police leap to defend the absurd (and I'm not calling you said PC police).

Think about it; the joke was more on me. Similar to when I say, "There is no such thing as a female orgasm."

When I rule the world, I'm going to make everyone watch a Benny Hill episode. Anyone who fails to produce a genuine laugh by the closing credits will be "sent to the front".

User avatar
strawman
Member
Posts: 5966
Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2007 2:20 pm
Location: South Georgia

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Postby strawman » Tue Dec 17, 2013 11:59 pm

The front is all around us!
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

User avatar
Varda
Connor Choadsworth Defender
Posts: 1383
Joined: Wed Apr 10, 2013 5:41 pm
Location: Athens, Georgia
Contact:

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Postby Varda » Wed Dec 18, 2013 12:15 am

Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote:
sandrilde wrote:ouch for all women out there, Algernon.... C'mon, now! Men hate sex the same amount as women do... If you see what I mean -

Jeez, It's a sad, sad world when the classics no longer work and the PC police leap to defend the absurd (and I'm not calling you said PC police).

Think about it; the joke was more on me. Similar to when I say, "There is no such thing as a female orgasm."

When I rule the world, I'm going to make everyone watch a Benny Hill episode. Anyone who fails to produce a genuine laugh by the closing credits will be "sent to the front".


Pshaw! The really offensive thing was that you dissed sex with dudes! You have no idea what you're missing.

And while we're on the subject, here are some other things we're missing. I feel sorry for ASID, living in a state with such oppressive laws on the sale of "boobie pillows". I hope you don't live within 1,000 feet of a highway.
Medical Microfiction: Stories about Science

Drabblescout Badges:
Merits: Twabble Author (5), Drabble Author (4), DRIP Slave Volunteer (2), Whittling (1), Macaroni Crafts (2)
Demerits: Redd*t Rouser (2), Whittler's Mother (6)

User avatar
Algernon Sydney is Dead
Moderator
Posts: 3504
Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2008 11:22 pm
Location: PRK (California)

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Postby Algernon Sydney is Dead » Wed Dec 18, 2013 12:23 am

I think they are "Highways" in name only, anymore in this accursed state. Nevertheless, they have gone too far!

User avatar
strawman
Member
Posts: 5966
Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2007 2:20 pm
Location: South Georgia

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Postby strawman » Wed Dec 18, 2013 12:30 am

Varda wrote:And while we're on the subject, here are some other things we're missing. I feel sorry for ASID, living in a state with such oppressive laws on the sale of "boobie pillows". I hope you don't live within 1,000 feet of a highway.


Reference could use footnotes.

ROU wrote:There's that fruitful and multiply mandate to consider, after all.


Mrs. strawman isn't buying that one anymore.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

User avatar
Varda
Connor Choadsworth Defender
Posts: 1383
Joined: Wed Apr 10, 2013 5:41 pm
Location: Athens, Georgia
Contact:

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Postby Varda » Wed Dec 18, 2013 1:01 am

strawman wrote:Reference could use footnotes.


Huh?

And so I'm not derailing:

Gazing at his coal-filled stocking, the owner of Joe's Coal Company had an idea: next year, cut their health insurance!
Medical Microfiction: Stories about Science

Drabblescout Badges:
Merits: Twabble Author (5), Drabble Author (4), DRIP Slave Volunteer (2), Whittling (1), Macaroni Crafts (2)
Demerits: Redd*t Rouser (2), Whittler's Mother (6)

Bejami
Member
Posts: 84
Joined: Thu Aug 29, 2013 5:55 pm

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Postby Bejami » Wed Dec 18, 2013 9:24 am

"Honey, did you move the elf on a shelf? I found it in the garage, and it looks kinda fat. Also, I can't seem to find the dog."

Bejami
Member
Posts: 84
Joined: Thu Aug 29, 2013 5:55 pm

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Postby Bejami » Wed Dec 18, 2013 9:39 am

Santa vowed to make stress management a priority for next year when diamonds started appearing in bad kids' stockings.

User avatar
Algernon Sydney is Dead
Moderator
Posts: 3504
Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2008 11:22 pm
Location: PRK (California)

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Postby Algernon Sydney is Dead » Wed Dec 18, 2013 12:57 pm

Bejami wrote:Santa vowed to make stress management a priority for next year when diamonds started appearing in bad kids' stockings.

Or he could just stop keistering charcoal. Maybe take some multi-bitumens instead. ;)

Bejami
Member
Posts: 84
Joined: Thu Aug 29, 2013 5:55 pm

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Postby Bejami » Wed Dec 18, 2013 10:52 pm

Each time one of our stomachs growl, we both look over to where Billy used to sit, then back at each other. Lifeboats suck.

User avatar
tbaker2500
Site Admin
Posts: 3594
Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2007 7:03 pm
Location: West Lafayette, IN
Contact:

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Postby tbaker2500 » Thu Dec 19, 2013 2:08 am

Nice. :-)
You're my quasi-ichthian angel, you're my half-amphibian queen...

The Dribblecast, we don't care if you sound like an idiot.


Return to “Twit-Fic!”



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron