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Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 2:35 am
by Algernon Sydney is Dead
Well, thank Christ I didn't offend any Muslims... No fatwas, please.

Re: Blasphemy

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 3:13 am
by swamp
Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote:God creates a worm for every bird. You might think that God hates worms but worms get the bird, in the end. God hates us all!
strawman wrote:Okay, ASID, now you've really stepped in it. It's one thing to dis a bunch of pansy-assed liberal atheists. But you start tugging on Jesus' cape, and I'm resigning. It's a terrible thing to be in the hands of the living Tweedy.
Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote:Well, thank Christ I didn't offend any Muslims... No fatwas, please.
Actually, shouldn't that twabble go in the Adult, Political or Religious Twabble thread anyway?

Re: Blasphemy

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 3:27 am
by Algernon Sydney is Dead
swamp wrote: Actually, shouldn't that twabble go in the Adult, Political or Religious Twabble thread anyway?
No. That thread was closed and locked. And, the twabble was not really offensive (not that there aren't people who can take offense, to ANYTHING).

I told something similar to a few friends; they laughed. So, I reworked it to twabble form and posted (lucky you :P ).

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 5:59 am
by TheJebi
Oh geez, now you folks have gone and reminded me that I've been hanging on to this one since the adult twabble thread was closed. It would have fit perfectly there, since it covers all three of the "forbidden subjects".
It's not intended to offend, and it doesn't have H8 4 U, or XXX in the title, so it should be fine. I just think it's funny, and that it somehow has a slight ring of truth to it.


The GOP ran God for president. He won of course, despite being caught smoking crack with four male hookers in a restroom.

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 6:07 am
by The PMS Avenger
TheJebi wrote: The GOP ran God for president. He won of course, despite being caught smoking crack with four male hookers in a restroom.
One of our state senators filed a lawsuit against God. No joke.

Re: Blasphemy

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 6:14 am
by swamp
Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote:
swamp wrote: Actually, shouldn't that twabble go in the Adult, Political or Religious Twabble thread anyway?
No. That thread was closed and locked.
:oops: Yeah, I'm not keeping up with things I guess.

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 6:16 am
by Algernon Sydney is Dead
TheJebi wrote:The GOP ran God for president. He won of course, despite being caught smoking crack with four male hookers in a restroom.
I'm not sure which is the worst blasphemy. But, smearing God with the taint of the current GOP is probably your biggest ticket to Hell. :wink:

Now,
i double-dog dare you to replace God, in that twabble, with Mohamed or Allah.

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 8:00 am
by TheJebi
Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote:
TheJebi wrote:The GOP ran God for president. He won of course, despite being caught smoking crack with four male hookers in a restroom.
I'm not sure which is the worst blasphemy. But, smearing God with the taint of the current GOP is probably your biggest ticket to Hell. :wink:

Now,
i double-dog dare you to replace God, in that twabble, with Mohamed or Allah.
Oh, ASID. If I only had a nickel for every time you banished me to hell. :twisted: Why I'd have like a whole quarter by now. :)
I don't think that the twabble would ring as true for me if I replaced god with another deity, so I hope that this will satisfy you for now.

Allah was broke. So he started posing in pictures for tips. Of course his followers beheaded him for depicting himself.

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 8:05 am
by Algernon Sydney is Dead
TheJebi wrote:Allah was broke. So he started posing in pictures for tips. Of course his followers beheaded him for depicting himself.
That's pretty good, but I'd stay out of The Netherlands, if I were you. :wink:


PS. I believe I've only dropped a dime's worth of damnation upon you. Don't make me smite you!

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 2:33 pm
by strawman
In Indonesia, where 'allah' is the word for 'God', the courts have just ruled that Catholics may legally say 'allah', which caused several churches to be burned. Message: Don't dis the towelheads.

Word for the day: I've remembered to take MY meds today. Have ya'll?

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 4:42 pm
by tbaker2500
Mr. Strawman, I request some clarification. Our last moderator closed down the thread for offensive twabbles I set up, quoting:

"Rather than set up a literary red light district in an attempt to contain troublesome twabbles, I think it's a much better idea to just not post any."

We have clearly passed back into posting "troublesome twabbles". What do you want the forum to do? Stop posting said Troublesome Twabbles, or continue?

I'm trying to pose this as a clear cut question, because some have handily ignored the last 3 warnings you posted.

Thanks for your guidance! Even your reprimands are funny.

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 5:38 pm
by strawman
Gee, Tom, this moderator business is tricky. I thought the threads were kind of massing on the border like India and Pakistan, so I was trying to be multilateral like Hillary, and hint at future sanctions with a moveable deadline and a warning for all to take their meds (which I really think might work in Iran and N Korea, if Hillary could just bring herself to admit that she takes hers). Plus, ASID's observation that God wouldn't accept the GOP nomination is funny.

Anyway, the island nation of St. Thomas has requested that the security council take action. So my ruling is that you may no longer post comments that contain :twisted: .

This is a metaphysical ruling. Here's how it works: If you are writing a post and feel that it needs a :twisted: to perfectly express your meaning, then you have crossed into Pakistan, and our secret UN drones will take you out, along with any innocent civilians you may have convinced to stand next to you.

Are we clear?

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 6:59 pm
by tbaker2500
Ooh, a metaphysical ruling! I like it!
For the record, I was not offended, and I thought several of them were funny. But, I also saw that some more religious people than I could be pretty pissed.

Thanks for the ruling!

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 8:44 pm
by themorg
I was afraid because the giant caterpillar had just choked to death with my leg down it's maw. "Bill, i'll be late today."

Dangerous Words

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 10:03 pm
by Algernon Sydney is Dead
Les Brown said, "Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss you will land among the stars." Alas, our oxygen tank was only so big.

H1N1

Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 1:06 am
by Dame
I went back in time and kissed myself for ten minutes despite having flu. Future generations depended upon my immunity.

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 1:28 am
by strawman
Hmmm. Time-traveling autoeroticism. That was in The Time Traveler's Wife. Weird book, too.

But... if you already had it, why'd you need to get it? Conversely, you went back to give it to yourself, so that you could be immune and not get it, so that you couldn't go back to give it to yourself.

I came back from the future and removed the :twisted: I had put at the end of my post, so that I could reverse the deletion that I afterwards was forced to execute as Justice of the Peace.

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 5:05 am
by dreamrock
Man, I love the :txwisted: icon and I totally use it for non-inflammatory stuff all the time. *pout*


He asked the waiter, Rick, if they had shrimp-free jambalaya. Rick glared at him and pointed to soylent variety. Tasty.

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 5:10 am
by strawman
Indulgences may be granted for the :t*wisted: rule. A One-time Pal Pal option may be used for this purpose.

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 5:29 am
by moonowl
strawman wrote:Indulgences may be granted for the :t*wisted: rule. A One-time Pal Pal option may be used for this purpose.
Oh thank whoeveritis. No need to be a douche-twabbler, but I was scared we were wandering into PC-Land.