Page 233 of 379

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 10:48 am
by Djinndustries
Went to the butcher, got a cold pork shoulder for $4/lb. Gave Norm $500 for a bardl, got no song and a cold shoulder for free

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 4:43 pm
by strawman
Never pay Norm up front. It's all gone to moose love.

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 5:54 pm
by afgrappin
"Very good grasshopper," the old mentorish man said. "Next time, though, remove the wings. One got stuck in my throat."

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 9:29 pm
by afgrappin
Eight legs. Big as a van. When it sat on the tuffet, the girl passed out. The spider feasted and told everyone she ran away.

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 9:44 pm
by strawman
Bully, that!

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 9:55 pm
by Algernon Sydney is Dead
afgrappin wrote:Eight legs. Big as a van. When it sat on the tuffet, the girl passed out. The spider feasted and told everyone she ran away.
Good one. :)

I had an old attempt, but couldn't quite squish it down to 100 chars:

She sat on a stool, eating her gruel
when a spider fell into her hair.
She made to run, being no fool
but the bug was big as a bear.

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 10:07 pm
by afgrappin
Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote: Good one. :)
Why thank you!

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 3:41 pm
by groomporter
Speaking of spiders...

Poor Spider Girl, doomed to be a spinster. Her partners learned she looses control of her web spinners when she orgasms.

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 4:12 pm
by groomporter
And to try to be topical for recent news:

I owe DARPA for perfect children. If it not for your breeding plan and an NSA hack of OKCupid I may never have found my wife.

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 7:59 pm
by Varda
Screw gold! This dragon hoarded something rarer. Sleeping on radium rots your scales, but it keeps the burglars at bay!

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 8:47 pm
by Algernon Sydney is Dead
groomporter wrote:I owe DARPA for perfect children. If it not for your breeding plan and an NSA hack of OKCupid I may never have found my wife.
And our kids are so obedient! With a cute little blood-lust in their eyes.

"Free" "services" for every US resident. Citizen or not

Posted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 8:48 pm
by Algernon Sydney is Dead
We tracked you to the polls by your cell phone GPS. We photographed your mail-in ballot. There's no need for any voter ID!

Pleasure

Posted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 4:43 am
by Andrew Styles
I shook it around, making it vibrate. She emanated a pure, clear tone of pleasure. I rubbed her neck. I sure love guitars.

Re: Pleasure

Posted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 5:00 am
by Algernon Sydney is Dead
Andrew Styles wrote:I shook it around, making it vibrate. She eminated a pure, clear tone of pleasure. I rubbed her neck. I sure love guitars.
Mispellerized. It's emanated. Fun idea, though.

So you (re)string your love (along)? :wink:

She sang my tune. She could tell I was treble, and a bass character too, but no big fret. She loved how I used her whammy bar.

Re: Pleasure

Posted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 5:09 am
by scarcrow
Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote:
Andrew Styles wrote:I shook it around, making it vibrate. She eminated a pure, clear tone of pleasure. I rubbed her neck. I sure love guitars.
Mispellerized. It's emanated. Fun idea, though.

So you (re)string your love (along)? :wink:

She sang my tune. She could tell I was treble, and a bass character too, but no big fret. She loved how I used her whammy bar.

FLUTES!


...that is all!

Re: Pleasure

Posted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 5:13 am
by Andrew Styles
Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote:
Andrew Styles wrote:I shook it around, making it vibrate. She eminated a pure, clear tone of pleasure. I rubbed her neck. I sure love guitars.
Mispellerized. It's emanated. Fun idea, though.

So you (re)string your love (along)? :wink:

She sang my tune. She could tell I was treble, and a bass character too, but no big fret. She loved how I used her whammy bar.
Thanks! I fixed it... Its all my tired mind could come up with for today. Glad you liked it!

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Sat Jun 15, 2013 4:46 am
by Varda
I think my cell phone might be sentient. When I charge it, it bleats! Is it just me, or do Androids dream of electric sheep?

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Sat Jun 15, 2013 12:31 pm
by strawman
Varda wrote:I think my cell phone might be sentient. When I charge it, it bleats! Is it just me, or do Androids dream of electric sheep?
Gets my vote for Twabble of the year. :D

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Sat Jun 15, 2013 4:33 pm
by Varda
strawman wrote:
Varda wrote:I think my cell phone might be sentient. When I charge it, it bleats! Is it just me, or do Androids dream of electric sheep?
Gets my vote for Twabble of the year. :D
Everyone loves a good Dick joke. :P

Almighty Tinnitus

Posted: Sun Jun 16, 2013 12:29 am
by Algernon Sydney is Dead
I recorded the ringing in my ears and fed it into a SETI filter.
I heard the voice of God, saying, "About. Freaking. Time!"