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Kidnapped by Aliens

Posted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 11:06 pm
by David Kafri
A grasshopper blundered through my open car's window.
To the toy spider on the back seat, it said:
Take me to your leader!

Hello All,
long time listener, first time poster, hope you like.
It's called "Kidnapped by Aliens", but that didn't fit the 100-character limit... and is not really needed.
First posted on my FB page, https://www.facebook.com/kafri/posts/10151901582104879
david

Re: Kidnapped by Aliens

Posted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 11:54 pm
by Algernon Sydney is Dead
David Kafri wrote:A grasshopper blundered through my open car's window.
To the toy spider on the back seat, it said:
Take me to your leader!
This should be car's open window -- although blundering through a closed window can be more fun.

Welcome aboard, David Kafri!

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Mon Sep 02, 2013 3:47 am
by tbaker2500
Hello David! Welcome to the forums. Put your feet up and stay awhile!

Re: Kidnapped by Aliens

Posted: Mon Sep 02, 2013 6:13 am
by David Kafri
Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote:
David Kafri wrote:A grasshopper blundered through my open car's window.
To the toy spider on the back seat, it said:
Take me to your leader!
This should be car's open window -- although blundering through a closed window can be more fun.

Welcome aboard, David Kafri!
Thanks!
That is exactly the kind of stuff that's hard to get right 'cause English is not my first language (Hebrew is). It didn't feel quite right, but I couldn't put my finger on what was wrong... (another) good reason to post here :-)

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Mon Sep 02, 2013 6:15 am
by David Kafri
tbaker2500 wrote:Hello David! Welcome to the forums. Put your feet up and stay awhile!

:) if my feet were any "upper", I'd be standing on my head... :)

Sheep ire.

Posted: Tue Sep 03, 2013 1:39 pm
by lyda
In eerily silence he crept through the dark. A sheep reared up, fangs gleaming. "It's happening," he thought at the end.

Re: Sheep ire.

Posted: Tue Sep 03, 2013 3:44 pm
by strawman
lyda wrote:In eerily silence he crept through the dark. A sheep reared up, fangs gleaming. "It's happening," he thought at the end.
You can turn a verb into a noun by gerundification. But I don't believe allowance has yet been made for adverbs to be adjectified, unless you have a valid poetic license.

I have driven around Ireland, and let me just say I know the feeling.
I thought it was really quaint how they use sheep for their graffiti.

Re: Sheep ire.

Posted: Tue Sep 03, 2013 8:38 pm
by lyda
strawman wrote:
lyda wrote:In eerily silence he crept through the dark. A sheep reared up, fangs gleaming. "It's happening," he thought at the end.
You can turn a verb into a noun by gerundification. But I don't believe allowance has yet been made for adverbs to be adjectified, unless you have a valid poetic license.

I have driven around Ireland, and let me just say I know the feeling.
I thought it was really quaint how they use sheep for their graffiti.
Oh drat. I had originally started with "The night was eerily..." but "the dark" was less characters and conveyed the same. But I think this makes it better - I wanted "started" because, obviously, it better implies something new, different and munchier is happening.

There are sheep in the field next to me at the moment. They look placid and harmless, but you just know if they had a way they would wreck mighty revenge.

So. Twabble mark II.

In eerie silence he crept through the dark. A sheep reared up, fangs gleaming. "It has started!" were his last thoughts.

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Tue Sep 03, 2013 9:46 pm
by strawman
Still have a quibble. "It has started" is only one thought, no?

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Wed Sep 04, 2013 3:09 am
by tbaker2500
strawman wrote:Still have a quibble. "It has started" is only one thought, no?
You have a quibble with a twabble? That's trouble!

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Wed Sep 04, 2013 6:53 pm
by ROU Killing Time
tbaker2500 wrote:
strawman wrote:Still have a quibble. "It has started" is only one thought, no?
You have a quibble with a twabble? That's trouble!
More properly referred to as a "quabble."

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Wed Sep 04, 2013 7:04 pm
by strawman
Not twubble?
Bo, can we just ad an Elmer Fudd emoticon for this?

tactical error

Posted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 5:03 am
by Bejami
"Maybe I didn't think this one through," he mouthed, looking up at his body from between the feet of his worthy opponent.

Re: tactical error

Posted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 7:09 am
by strawman
Bejami wrote:"Maybe I didn't think this one through," he mouthed, looking up at his body from between the feet of his worthy opponent.
IF
If you can keep your feet when all around you, you lie broken,
you'll be a ghoul, my son.

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2013 1:21 am
by Varda
"Geomancy. G-E-O-M-A-N-C-Y."

In the crowd, proud wizards cheered for their apprentices. The Spelling Bee had begun.

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2013 1:58 am
by Algernon Sydney is Dead
Probably works better if you use "Spell-ing Bee".

Snow White slept for a spell
'til the prince did his magic.
He was a foiled necrophiliac
vs morning breath, quite tragic.

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2013 2:01 am
by tbaker2500
Varda wrote:"Geomancy. G-E-O-M-A-N-C-Y."

In the crowd, proud wizards cheered for their apprentices. The Spelling Bee had begun.
Awesome. :D

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2013 2:24 am
by Varda
Thanks, Tom! :D
Algernon Sydney is Dead wrote: Snow White slept for a spell
'til the prince did his magic.
He was a foiled necrophiliac
vs morning breath, quite tragic.
We thought the apocalypse was averted, until the zombies read Snow White.

Don't make out with sexy corpses in the woods!

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2013 5:44 am
by Bejami
"I'm sorry, I blew my cover," the vampire said to his Paranormal Integration handler. "It was the blood oranges again."

Re: Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Posted: Sat Sep 07, 2013 7:09 pm
by lyda
strawman wrote:Still have a quibble. "It has started" is only one thought, no?
Also a good point. I think I'll have to give up on this one. I have no quibble with your quabbles though so keep them coming! :)