Post your Twitfic Twabbles Here! (General Content)

Algernon Sydney is Dead · Post by **Algernon Sydney is Dead** » Mon Sep 01, 2014 1:51 am

unreliable narrator wrote:The second crow landed silently with a conspiratorial glance, but in seconds they were arrested for attempted murder.

"I seen 'em officer! A couple of raven lunatics!"

strawman · Post by **strawman** » Mon Sep 01, 2014 2:11 am

Asked for comment, he quoth: 'Nevermore'.

unreliable narrator · Post by **unreliable narrator** » Mon Sep 01, 2014 5:19 am

"How's Al after the operation?" Kris asked.
"Well, he's doing okay for a guy who's coughing up somebody else's phlegm."

unreliable narrator · Post by **unreliable narrator** » Mon Sep 01, 2014 5:51 am

"I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last guy on Earth!" she screamed.
He smiled cooly, "Who'd be around to stop me?"

Algernon Sydney is Dead · Post by **Algernon Sydney is Dead** » Mon Sep 01, 2014 6:57 am

That's why I tell my girls that the only men they really need are Mr. Smith & Mr. Wesson. They'll be around at least 6 times.

Chairman Goodchild · Post by **Chairman Goodchild** » Mon Sep 01, 2014 4:16 pm

unreliable narrator wrote:"I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last guy on Earth!" she screamed.
He smiled cooly, "Who'd be around to stop me?"

Nice!
Well, maybe not nice, but still, nice.

unreliable narrator · Post by **unreliable narrator** » Tue Sep 02, 2014 7:34 pm

I remember when Sharon turned me down to our high school prom party.
Must've been 1984.
I miss Sharon.
So does her family.

tbaker2500 · Post by **tbaker2500** » Wed Sep 03, 2014 5:28 am

TheFriendlyNSA wrote:"What's wrong with me, doctor?" I gasped as I cursed the laughing sickness.
"Shirley, I'm afraid you can't be serious."

Haha! Awesome take on Airplane!

Chairman Goodchild · Post by **Chairman Goodchild** » Wed Sep 03, 2014 11:15 am

tbaker2500 wrote:Haha! Awesome take on Airplane!

Surely you can't be serious.

SpareInch · Post by **SpareInch** » Wed Sep 03, 2014 12:49 pm

The sight of a red and white Pole on the street corner told me that, in Warsaw, Nationalism was rife among tattoo artists.

unseentangerine · Post by **unseentangerine** » Fri Sep 05, 2014 4:27 am

I always have fun meeting a blind date for dinner. But, I do feel rather awkward reading the menu aloud while she decides.

unreliable narrator · Post by **unreliable narrator** » Fri Sep 05, 2014 6:02 pm

She lifted him deftly and slipped his head into the hot liquid. As she swirled him realisation dawned. He was stir crazy!

SpareInch · Post by **SpareInch** » Fri Sep 05, 2014 7:11 pm

unseentangerine wrote:I always have fun meeting a blind date for dinner. But, I do feel rather awkward reading the menu aloud while she decides.

Speaking as a blind person, can I just say that it's funny because it's TRUE!

unreliable narrator · Post by **unreliable narrator** » Sat Sep 06, 2014 1:17 am

My sister just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome. She said it was pretty bad at first but by the end she kind of liked it.

Algernon Sydney is Dead · Post by **Algernon Sydney is Dead** » Sat Sep 06, 2014 1:58 am

Too soon.

unseentangerine · Post by **unseentangerine** » Sat Sep 06, 2014 2:38 am

SpareInch wrote:
unseentangerine wrote:I always have fun meeting a blind date for dinner. But, I do feel rather awkward reading the menu aloud while she decides.

Speaking as a blind person, can I just say that it's funny because it's TRUE!

Speaking for myself, even if I felt uncomfortable reading it aloud, I would embarrass myself to no end for a girl I liked.

juss sayin' . . that reply's a twabble right there too

AbscessMinded · Post by **AbscessMinded** » Sat Sep 06, 2014 3:30 am

I can't stand how the wife says, "Give me a minute to put on my face."
and an hour later she's still on the epidermis!
Women.

AbscessMinded · Post by **AbscessMinded** » Sat Sep 06, 2014 3:30 am

"Put your game faces on!"
The team groaned.
They wouldn't make such a stink if coach would just get them some fresh faces.

Chairman Goodchild · Post by **Chairman Goodchild** » Tue Sep 09, 2014 3:52 pm

AbscessMinded wrote:I can't stand how the wife says, "Give me a minute to put on my face."
and an hour later she's still on the epidermis!
Women.

I know, right? Honey, we have to go now, and your eye sockets are still empty.

Post by **normsherman** » Wed Sep 10, 2014 10:33 pm

Just a shout out to Unread Narrator, whose winning 100 character story about Stockholm Syndrome went semi-viral this week with over 650 retweets and 590 favorited in just the first couple hours. New All-time Record in DC twitfix history.

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