Announcing the Weekly Tw(itter)-(Dr)abble Contest!

Submit 100 character stories for the weekly contest
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Do you like twit-fic?

Yes
44
80%
No
2
4%
We'll see
9
16%
 
Total votes: 55

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strawman
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Re: Announcing the Weekly Tw(itter)-(Dr)abble Contest!

Post by strawman » Thu Nov 05, 2009 2:24 pm

Yes, a billion Chinese might be more than Dateline can handle.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

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eric_marsh
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Corporate Rightsizing

Post by eric_marsh » Thu Nov 05, 2009 4:31 pm

Replacing all the sugar cane field supervisors with Haitian priestesses saved S & W Sugar millions of dollars annually.
Life is a tragedy for those who feel, but a comedy to those who think. - Horace Walpole
Eric's Drabbles: http://eric-marsh.blogspot.com/"

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strawman
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Re: Announcing the Weekly Tw(itter)-(Dr)abble Contest!

Post by strawman » Thu Nov 05, 2009 6:37 pm

And that was just eliminating their dental plan.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

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Mr. Tweedy
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Re: Announcing the Weekly Tw(itter)-(Dr)abble Contest!

Post by Mr. Tweedy » Thu Nov 05, 2009 9:58 pm

Hmm... If you could really make a corpse into a zombie, then you could work after you were dead. I could sell my corpse to Zombco and retire early, the advance payments on my post-mortem labor funding days of living ease.
Advertise in this space!

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Algernon Sydney is Dead
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No wonder he's p*ssed

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Thu Nov 05, 2009 10:55 pm

Zeke had just phoned the TV news about the Jesus-shaped mold on his wall when it spoke: "Very funny, Dad! Now do it right."

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eric_marsh
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Re: Announcing the Weekly Tw(itter)-(Dr)abble Contest!

Post by eric_marsh » Sat Nov 07, 2009 2:00 pm

Seems to me there are plenty of things that Zombies might be useful for beyond working sugar fields. For example, if you replaced most of the guards in a prison with zombies the inmates would probably want to stay in their cells more.
Life is a tragedy for those who feel, but a comedy to those who think. - Horace Walpole
Eric's Drabbles: http://eric-marsh.blogspot.com/"

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Algernon Sydney is Dead
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Re: Announcing the Weekly Tw(itter)-(Dr)abble Contest!

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Sat Nov 07, 2009 8:33 pm

Bah. Keep the zombies as bureaucrats and news anchors. Prisoners are too devious and quick to be restrained by zombies.

Not The Prisoner for Much Longer:
"I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed, numbered, or kept by zombies. And they ate Rover."

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Algernon Sydney is Dead
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More bandwidth for me.

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Mon Nov 09, 2009 7:04 am

iTunes wailed and teeth were gnashed
all for the death of the Drabblecast.
No updates found and
Norm's escape pod bound.



(And 100 chars limits another Limerick (it's NOT my mad editing skilz!).)

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Algernon Sydney is Dead
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"Professional courtesy" has gone to Hell.

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Mon Nov 09, 2009 7:06 am

Satan: an amiable mate
was really kinder than fate.
'til a lawyer derived
a suit ill contrived
at triple his hourly rate.

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Algernon Sydney is Dead
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Empty Calories

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Mon Nov 09, 2009 7:47 am

The zombies were fast, unstoppable, and ravenous for brains. So, in a cruel twist, they bypassed Congress completely.


(Clichés are clichés because they have a large element of truth. :) )

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strawman
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Re: Announcing the Weekly Tw(itter)-(Dr)abble Contest!

Post by strawman » Mon Nov 09, 2009 12:07 pm

Buried deep in the 2000-page unread bill the speaker had pushed through congress, her pet project: zombie food stamps.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

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Algernon Sydney is Dead
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Re: Announcing the Weekly Tw(itter)-(Dr)abble Contest!

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Mon Nov 09, 2009 12:42 pm

Would those be dispensed by the "death panels"?

(Just give grandma some morphine while this friendly nurse nibbles on her skull.)

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strawman
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Re: Announcing the Weekly Tw(itter)-(Dr)abble Contest!

Post by strawman » Mon Nov 09, 2009 3:25 pm

No need for panels, with their burdensome bureaucracy. Just turn the nursing homes into all-you-can-eat restaurants.
Never judge anyone until you have biopsied their brain.

"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."
Known Some Call Is Air Am
Spoiler:
Non sum qualis eram = "I am not who I will be"

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Algernon Sydney is Dead
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Launch Sequence Commencing

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Wed Nov 11, 2009 8:18 am

Skynet tried communicating via an easy code that bridged English and its own genius meme set. It was all labeled "spam".

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F5iver
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Re: Announcing the Weekly Tw(itter)-(Dr)abble Contest!

Post by F5iver » Wed Nov 11, 2009 1:53 pm

The teenaged girl zombie was like, “Ew! I’m like totally a vegetarian now.” And then she ate Carrot Top. And Fiona Apple.

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Algernon Sydney is Dead
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Re: Announcing the Weekly Tw(itter)-(Dr)abble Contest!

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Wed Nov 11, 2009 2:07 pm

F5iver wrote:The teenaged girl zombie was like, “Ew! I’m like totally a vegetarian now.” And then she ate Carrot Top. And Fiona Apple.
The teenaged, girl zombie didn't understand why she was to get the medal. But the reception had nice "pea ons" to nibble.

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eric_marsh
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Re: Announcing the Weekly Tw(itter)-(Dr)abble Contest!

Post by eric_marsh » Wed Nov 11, 2009 10:43 pm

How about a kitty smoothie I asked. Kay made a face. I turned the blender on high. The cat purred as she lapped her smoothie.
Life is a tragedy for those who feel, but a comedy to those who think. - Horace Walpole
Eric's Drabbles: http://eric-marsh.blogspot.com/"

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Algernon Sydney is Dead
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Out of the mouths of babes, spews...

Post by Algernon Sydney is Dead » Wed Nov 11, 2009 11:53 pm

If children recite the foulest propaganda, it becomes "cute". That's how Jim knew they were demons to be exterminated.

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ROU Killing Time
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Re: Announcing the Weekly Tw(itter)-(Dr)abble Contest!

Post by ROU Killing Time » Thu Nov 12, 2009 2:06 am

eric_marsh wrote: How about a kitty smoothie I asked. Kay made a face. I turned the blender on high. The cat purred as she lapped her smoothie.
Nice example of the inverted twist.
"Never fuck with The Culture"
Sublime In Peace Iain M. Banks.

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eric_marsh
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Re: Announcing the Weekly Tw(itter)-(Dr)abble Contest!

Post by eric_marsh » Thu Nov 12, 2009 5:49 am

The NIS computers parsed the twit-fic searching for hidden messages. The Predators and the spooks were then deployed.
Life is a tragedy for those who feel, but a comedy to those who think. - Horace Walpole
Eric's Drabbles: http://eric-marsh.blogspot.com/"

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