Dear Gentle Sir or Madam,
I amwriting to you in the care of my uncle. I am a gentlewoman of good renown, recently located to Nigeria for reaons that I won’t go into at this time. I am most afraid and need your help.
It has come to my attention that my uncle is a zombie marauder. I didn’t believe it myself until I saw him attack a head of calliflour with ninja-quickness , screaming that is was shaped like brains, he desired brains, and nothing could assuage his beastly hunger like brains.
You understand that I was most aghast at this boorish behavior.
My uncle has been killing the good people of Nigeria and draining their bodies and bank accounts. He has amassed over 117 million American dollars, and I wouldlike to share this monies with you. I fear for my life, good sir or madam. I am much afeared that I will be next in his quest for my deliciously juicy brain, and I am prevailing upon your goodness. Please send me your bank account number so that I may use your monie to secure myself passage out of the country. After I am safe, I will feel confidence enough to get into my uncles bank and split the 117 million with you, my kind hearted savior.
with the sincerest and most hopeful of regards,
a shy young woman of good breeding and volumptuous breasts
"Give us all some Jelly"