it is to my great delite that we are privelged to inform you of the presently nomination of your fine sirs to the princetown 2009-2010 biggest doucebags of the universe award.
this great and lofty honor, be it decided, does upon you confer the title most desired in most of the known unvierse, including but not limited to the principals of bengladur, ursa minor, and the small moons of uranus. of the 1000s of qualifyed humans, mongrels, tud-tods and zenbers you of all have been chose for selection with a personal picture and greatest smile you confer upon all who see your visage.
to finalzie your qualification for this highest grandeur of honours, be it prsently your date of birth, favorite color, and bank routing transit number returned to us at your earliest convenience. there is no cost to receive this award, we simply must confer trhe accuracy of your checking account in all known universes.
thank you and good night,
princetown doucebag of the universe award
"Give us all some Jelly"